Seven Year Itch….!

I have heard this the first time, after I got married and I had always neglected it whenever I had heard it before.

I was thinking it is a myth and did not pay much attention to it, unless it started it hitting me hard from all sides. I found couples around me talking about it and there was something or other going around me in wrong dimensions.

I was worried I don’t fall a victim to the same old fact. I wanted to hold on to the strings of the so called marriage and run it into the right stream, so far have been successful.

But, I am worried about a lot of things that’s happening around me. I wanted to know ‘What this is itching all about?’ and ‘Why is it creating such a rush in the life?’

I went on to the search central and did a wide search on the topic and I found a lot of websites teaching us on what it is and how to avoid it to an extent. But, one thing that I did not understand is that, ‘Does this phenomenon happens only with relationship or marriage or with every aspect of life?” If it happens with all the other aspects of life then why do relationships are the ones that undergo the roughest patch in life…?

Why people fall into the trap of a seven year ordeal?

Let me explain, what is the seven year itch and what does it refer to?

Seven year itch is a syndrome that happens to people in relationship or in a marriage. By and large this phenomenon happens in a marriage and studies suggest that many divorces and break-ups happen due to this itch and it in only few people who sustain this itch.

I was wondering about the people who sustain this itch and survive through and go beyond the seven years of married life.

I was wondering do these people really call their married life a bliss or what compromise that they further did to sustain the maintainability of the so called marriage.

I did a further search to see how this horrible itch can be put into ease and what is the ointment or cream that can put the itch to a mere scratch on the skin and not cut through deep into the throats of each other in a relationship.

I wondered all that happens has a psychological reason to the itch that happens actually after a seven year. It is presumed that man starts to re-think his life that has been through the seven years and all that he gave up or did to make a few things work stands so much in front of himself that it becomes and ordeal to go through the rest of the days that’s in relationship.

They also go on to say that the differences and the negligence that happened through the start of the years in a relationship or marriage becomes a burden at the start or end of a seven year and people start looking at life from the misdeeds that they did during those periods of so called compromise.

So, the real culprit is man who lets of what he does not want to give at first and at the end of the seventh year he starts asking for all that he wanted in the first place?!

How weird, the mind takes seven years to process the data?

Some psychologists go on to say, man who does not able to sustain through the itch they go astray and look for relationships that satisfy them superficially, such a partner who is anew to relationship or a another person who is looking for a sexual gratification gets along to stratify their needs and what follows is two life syndrome…and it takes another seven years to rectify the mistake we make then.

Understood man is a complex being in a simpler cover…but at whose stake is all this that he undergoes.

The world over knows the reason for the problem but not one website tells us to overcome the problem and there are no success stories that have overcome this visible itch.

Now, why do we need a website that talks about it and its symptoms and the same way why do we need some others learning’s to do what we want in our life?

How do we cope up with the itch? If, I tell you a few things that I did or will do will it help? If it helps won’t that again be your own problem of little bit of adjustment or set an expectation as in that happened with such and such life and it got alright, why isn’t it not working with my life?

What’s the remedy?

Who am I to say remedy, ya? Nevertheless, I say you look into your life after seven years putting up with something why not try doing it for another year and make it an eight year itch and sustain the thingy in your life forever.

That isn’t as simple as it is said, but if the seven year itch is there, all you got to do is work around and figure what’s the best you can do in the given situation. That will require you of all your energies and social conditions…!!!

Are we ready to do?

If we could get into a relationship with the hope that this will go through and let me give up this one instance…let us see that we continue doing that in the seventh year or rather let us not get into a relationship that does suck at the seventh year, and I am going to look around and say, “I did this, now you do your recommendations…?!”

What say, folks…let me know what you feel about it.

Thanks Giving Post!

Here I am being bowled over by the people whom I wish to say a humble thanks to them. Though my saying thanks to them all is just a small gesture, but I cherish it!

Hopefully, they too cherish the moment of glory!

I would like to say Thanks for being there to Five Important People whom I have in life and have become a part of...in my daily chores.

1. My Amma (Mrs.Mangayarkarasi)

Well, without a dad, mom does not come home. I am glad, in this birth as Kavitha, would like to extend my heartfelt and plain emotionless thanks and die in the fact that I could do this to you, whilst you there.

I am grateful to all the deeds that you did to me, since the time I took shape and form inside of you and came alive in this world. I was a premature baby and you had to undergo a lot of trouble because of my urgency to meet the world.

I know, even after that would have been a trouble to you in my growing years, as I have often heard and still hear my aunts and uncles compare me with every new kid on the block with how naughty and how active I was in my toddling years.

Oh! You might have thought when I grew up to be a nice little kid who became extremely quiet and reserved when I started my schooling and college. You thought my daughter is not going to give me any more trouble.

How untrue it became - I fell in love and you had the trouble of telling me it wasn't right and I stood by my decision and you said, "Ok, child have your love life - I will get you married in a great pomp way so that no one tells you had a marriage out of the home"

I never knew so much of happiness till date and I owe you my lifetime to you for that one single act of yours.

The time I was ill, you woke up and took care of me. When I failed you stood by and said, "Never mind next time.' The deeds that you did without me asking for and the thoughts that you shared with me being an epitome of energy and strength that I always lean on and hold you for.

You are the strongest thing on this life that I shall hold dear for till there is breath under these nostrils of mine.

May you live your rest of your life and pass this life with utmost care and awareness.

2. My husband (Mr. Kumaresan)

You are the lifeline that keeps me ticking and counting the hours of a day. You have been close to me and you are like a ‘Confession Box’ for me.

You are more than a friend and a guide. Sometimes, I wonder why I keep telling you things that you don’t even bother to listen to and put me quite. But, when I calm and listen to my mind I know you were right.

You are the strength that I drive from within to live my live and carry on each day as a new experience and add it to my life.

You taught me a lot of things that I never knew existed in me and showed me what I am capable of. You have given me the utmost freedom that I can use it to even mould you.

I extend my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to you for making me come alive in this life and make the utmost of the situations I am driven in to.

You showed me what love can do and does.

3. My Tamil Film Music (Mr. Illayaraja)

I don’t understand what a raga is or the tune is…or differentiates one instrument sound from another but I can feel them and know the difference.

I don’t know how…I feel music and just love the way it transforms you from within. Be it a romantic song, be it a pathos song, be it a happy song, be it a family song, be it a joyful song, be it a solo song, whatever the genre I know this song does touch your heart and makes you feel sway to the music.

I extend my wishful and over whelming appreciations for this man who made everything else seem smaller and unknown but enjoyable. This small Music Director, Mr. Illayaraja who haven’t done much to reclaim his efficiency and add value to his name, but lives in the 5000 and odd songs he has composed and makes music a everyday event so effortlessly to all of the South Indian folks.

His music has been close to me since the days of my school and that is when he actually was in peak days of his career and I got to listen to him day-in and day –out without fail wherever I went.

If the air in the surrounding brings in the sounds of his music and his singers, I can find the song and narrow it down to the movie name and the actors – I feel happy of achieving the utmost things in life.

I find great pleasure in knowing his most unknown songs that have fade with time and want of proper marketing and sales. I have a huge collection of all his songs and I happy to be a part of his era, where I can listen to him more and for every situation in my life I can find a song from his Juke box.

4. Sadguru & Isha

Well, I have been always fascinated by the Science of Spiritualism and the persons behind this.

I haven’t been involved with any kind of spirituality or such activities as Meditation, Yoga and thinking beyond the one life we have right one.

But, being introduced to Isha and Sadguru, I am happy that I was able to be a part of it today and extend my heartfelt thanks and endearing gratitude for showing me the way to eternal happiness and peaceful living.

I knew how difficult this path is and never had imagined the hardships of this life of spirituality until I got involved with it.

I still wonder what these words really mean…Bliss, Utmost Happiness, An Experience Beyond Words, the Elixir of it…the extremeness of it but I certainly know it is difficult.

The people who live like sages and great men at the Himalayas certainly have given up the worldly pleasures to attain the Ultimate, but it certainly is not an easy job. There are more hardships involved in it than the struggles we see in a normal life.

I extend my happiness in being lead into a path that will show me the Ultimate and I am struggling to be the one among the clan.

This introduction itself has given me immense pleasure and happiness that the life at the other end is exciting but the hardships are stopping me from going further.

Call me further; let me have a taste of it!

5. Friends & People

Last but not the least, I would thank all of them whom I have been in contact and have come in contact for each one of have given me a insight and made me more wiser and more enhanced than what I was as a mere being.

I thank all of my friends and people whom I have met so far…you people have given a new meaning to the life and made it possible to make this journey of life so exciting and interesting.

There have been friends who have inspired, motivated, suggested, helped and given me great happiness in knowing me and helping me in my walks of life.

There have been people who have been silent but noticed and given me the power to carry on further with no hassle and make an endless effort for all the thoughts and things in my life.

I extend warm and dutiful thanks to one and all, for just being there and making life an experience to cherish and live it fully.

Thanks to one and all…I cannot incorporate each one of you in life but you will have a unique place in this life of mine coz the day and time we met is as everlasting as you all are…!

I hope you people loved reading the five important thanks giving that I gave right now as much as I had in writing it here.

What is the age?!

I am fascinated by this aspect called ‘LOVE’ that each one of us is in search or at least dream to be in one...lest it be a failed or an unsuccessful one...!

The feeling is great and it immediately sends signals to the hormones of your body and the activation sets in...leading to a lot of powerful consequences.

I see people in and around walking gaily as if floating in air rather than walking on the grounds...makes me ponder does it has so much of capability....!

At the same time I wonder what happens if they fall on to the ground...that's when the quote of Shakespeare comes into my mind - "Don’t fall in love but raise in it..." how aptly said he...! :)

People not only fall into it, the raise again quickly to fall into it again. I love the way everything changes the instant they are in and out of it.

The breeze that is tender is a wonder, the smell of earth divine, the song is a hymn, the words flow, there is energy, there is charm and there is everything that sings the glory of you.

Now, at every age this feeling is different...I see old age couple who are in love with each are more compassionate and more endearing not physically but mentally too.

They are concerned about each other’s well-being, needs, requirement, concern and everything revolves around both of them...of course they have spent the mature ages together in romancing but now they see what they can do best for each other...!

The middle age couple romance in a different tone. They see themselves in the kids they have and capture the unseen and glimpses of their childhood. They fantasize each other’s childhood that they missed, in their kids. They are happy with their offspring and they cherish it like that it their creation and everything goes in a round way with them in the center.

The newlyweds are the people who romance as if a new found relationship. There is nothing but them. They alive in each other’s eyesight and there is nothing that bothers them. They are happy being together and living with each other. They seem to come into our sight only when they need something otherwise it is their own sweet heaven!

The love birds – what do I say about them. If there was something called as heaven where things of comfort and free flowing wine that intoxicated you from head to toe - they say - it is here in on earth and when I am with her/him.

Oh! What beauty and what efforts of exuberance. You cannot get them to listen to you; they listen to each other and ignore almost anything required or essential. I wonder if at all they listen to each other coz their state is something like half asleep and half awake. The eyes are always in search, the mind restless, the heart beating against the bone cage, the feet walking into destination less paths, the endless songs of music and fun, the flutter of the eyelids, the hands that are ready to clutch, the souls that want to mingle as one, the body that are etched together, and many more happenings that are happening without a sound…!

What can one do, other than just taste the diligence of it.!

The love birds are the ones that come at a larger age range of one’s lifetime. It starts at the teens and travels till we settle down with someone that we choose or destined with a degree of adjustment or tolerance.

There are exceptions to the said consequences and age references, but whatever the cause be or age there is certain amount of indulgence and elixir in the word or sequence called ‘LOVE’, that makes a human being go crazy and lose his balance.

Coming to think of it, every time we hear someone’s in love we say, ‘Oh! That’s not the age…’ so my question is when is it the age?!

Whatever the age is the reactions are the same, aren’t they?!

My Rendezvous with Shajahan’s Taj Mahal – Symbol of Love

What do you feel looking at it for the first time?

I remember I was in 6th standard when I saw the Taj Mahal for the first time, I accept it was a long years back in my life, but the memories of seeing such a beautiful architecture was fascinating and still vivid in my memory.

Before, I personally visiting this place the first memory of this place was seeing it in a beautiful crafted movie by the one of the finest directors of Tamil cinema, Mani Ratnam’s movie, ‘Mouna Ragam’.

The story of a girl who comes to New Delhi, married to a guy whom she did not want to share his life, but visits the Taj Mahal along with him and her interests in life starts changing...such is the Power Of Love.

Now on my real journey to this place was unexpected. My parents, my sister and a close friend of ours went on a tour to Delhi and Agra in the summer holidays. We were excited about the days of journey and those long stays and the different places and the culture along with them. It was an exciting trip, never to be forgotten.

We were in New Delhi viewing all the historical places and when we discussed about the Taj Mahal, it was decided that we had to miss the place due to the distance and lack of time. We had made up our mind and decided sometime later in life will certainly come to visit the Taj.

Maybe, when I get married with my husband on a full moon night, is when the Taj is exquisetively beautiful, reflecting the moon light….[This piece of information I got after I came of age and people talked about love and marriage synonymously and after I had also explained about what I did in my holidays in our School Composition.]

I am fascinated by the historical places and the hidden treasures of the kingly states and the wonderful life, those human beings had. I used to sometimes wonder myself as a Sultan’s daughter and dream myself in the lap of luxury and the exotic buildings and gardens.

Wow! What a life they had…Especially seeing the forts of Delhi, Agra, and the house of the kingdom of Akbar, the Fatehpur Shikari… I had really fallen in love with this countrymen and their life.

We started to our journey to Fathefur Shikari and finished watching the Buland Darwaza - the Watch Tower of Akbar and his kings’ men. What a fabulous palace…that is why it was his Winter Palace.

But, we had sometime left and the taxi driver said you have come so far, so not to miss the Taj Mahal and see it. You might not get another chance and he promised us to take us very quickly to that place and giving us ample time to look around.

That’s it, we said, “Shenshah, hum aa rahe hain, tumhare Taj ko dekhne [Shahjahan, we are coming to see your Taj]!” in a classic historical way, like a king would have declared his statement to his folk.

Then, we set on the journey to the Taj Mahal; I was not feeling well on that day some disturbance in the health happens when you travel, so it was the usual. We hired a taxi to go to Agra from there and during the journey, I wanted to get back to the hotel and take some infinite rest, but keeping company with the people on travel, I spelt most of the journey in the car to Agra sleeping and when I finally woke up I was just in front of the beautiful white building…The Taj.

I just got out of the car and was looking at the Taj with my mouth wide open and a whistle out of my breathlessness. What a huge structured building, what craftsmen…??!!!

We hired a guide to tell us or explain us the magnificent building, a little bit of history, a little bit of journey into that world that was gone-by, that exotic was it all.

We listened to him so excited and nodding at his explanations and acknowledging the guys description with the passing outside structure of the building. It was a great architectural feat from outside.

When we moved in, he said, we are going to see the tombs of Shajahan and Mumtaz Mahal, as it is still believed today that they were laid here after they passed away from this material world.

For a moment I stood froze, Can it be real? If it is, then he must be awake in night to talk to his wife and they might take a tour in the night and spend sometime together.

I could visualize them, walking hand-in-hand and he explaining the beauty of this place and how it matches with her beauty [Mumtaz Mahal is said to be the most beautiful one and Shajahan being head-over-heels in love, that made his long and build this place for her, before she took leave of him from this world and promised to stay with him in the memory of the building.]

It was a promise of a Man to his Lady Love, who was ailing and did whatever that, could please her into a peaceful death, at the least, when he could not strive to save her. It is a great feeling of being loved beyond your existence!!!

The tomb inside another masterpiece in itself…It was wonderfully done. It had a structure crisscrossed walls with holes in-between and it looked like a pattern to let light, and wind pass through and not let the beauty suffer from suffocation.

The passage of light through the small gaps in-between made wonderful patterns on the tomb and the floor and it looked like any moment, Mumtaz might get up and dance heartily in the light and express her love for her husband beside her.

The whole place wasn’t like two dead tombs, it was so much with live and that place looked like a peak into the private bedroom of the King and the Rani. The place was so lively and with so much of air, chillness, light and the warmth.

I looked around I saw people praying to them to give them the strength to carry on their love, some bowed heads, some discussing the building, some silently walking around the tomb, some just not understanding what it is, some just passing by, some busy in their love interests, some kids running around, who did not understand LOVE.

It was a mixed feeling for me…not sure if I will feel the same. But the memory of that place is too much in my mind that I can’t give up this place for many centuries to come, as well.

For some it is a representation of Love and for some it is a Monument, for some it is an Architectural Building for some it is History, today people have gone to describe this place as a Graveyard of the two most important people of History and the Dynasty that ruled India several years back.

Whatever it is, for me it stands as a memory of the King who built an Architectural feat for his loveable wife, as a token and then, he let her sleep there. Even if he could not make her live in it.

He lies beside her in a tomb and I sure he would have lived those days thinking about her and talking to her about the beauty of the architecture and the its structure that he did built to stand across time and tide and people visiting them from all over the world just to feel the power of love.

Shajahan, built it for whatever reason, better know to him, but history tells us something from the building. It was the love for architecture, fine buildings, finest craftsman, finest workmanship, and fine gentlemen lived in centuries ago, leaving us to wonder what we can achieve.

We feel so small in front of it in size and nature…I could not stop wondering the dedication and pain of the people who did see the building being erected and standing for centuries. We are trying to save it from hazards, coz we can’t build one such…

What more small can we feel…Let us not fall in love, let us rise and be with pride that Indian Heritage is not a matter of disintegration, but to live it across time and tide.

Save Sita, Breach in Ashoka Vanam!!!

Yesterday, I was in my hostel and I was browsing on my laptop and my friend who shares my room was also awake and giving me company. She was hooked on to her laptop and I was on mine and the time was about 11.00 pm.

We were discussing various things along with the laptops up and running. We discussed things like, company, work, life, family, girls, boys, television…anything. You know, girls can talk on anything and everything, so we were discussing amongst us and with the windows of the world open in front of us.

Suddenly we felt a knock on our room door; we knew for certain that some girls were watching television which was placed in the hall of our hostel. But the hour and the conversation kept us so much concentrated in our duty that are talking and we almost missed the silence in the corridors and the television shut down.

So now, just the sound of knock and then the silence around us, frightened and we tried to act brave and go ahead and open the door.

One of my room mates was already in the 7th heaven fast asleep as a dead log and nothing could wake her up…we tried not to panic and bringing up courage I got from my bed and walked to the door and holding my breadth, opened the door….slowly.

I could see some silhouette through the corner of my eye, a figure standing right in the front…through the gap of the door, I had opened. Not sure, who it is….I felt somebody pushing from the other side, and then the pressure….Hmm.

It was one of my hostel mates standing on one leg and screaming in words know only to her….some...Ah!! Oh! Oomph’s… I wondered what happened to her. I found a hostel mate standing on the chair of the dining table…I was just looking at the sight trying to gauge the condition and wondered what happened.

Just then I found something black crawling at a quicker pace then the bat of an eyelid and then there was a shriek again… Someone screamed - there it is …! There it is…!!! It is getting into your room, Kavitha!!!!

That’s it, I found the next chair dutifully occupied by me….Instantly, I did not know how I reached the chair or the table, and I was dutifully standing on the chair.

And Lo! It had passed quickly into my room and went under the godrej cupboard which was very much next to my bed. I was calling for my awake friend and said, ‘Hey there is the rat in our [still standing on the chair] and that’s it…I had just uttered rat and haven’t completed my sentence, I heard my friend’s shriek and I found her standing on her bed.

The rat had tried to leave my cupboard and went in search of my friend who was on her bed…and hid below her cupboard and there were some suitcases stacked in one corner of the room…we could not do anything. She was standing there and I was standing here and we all almost stood like that for sometime wondering what to do!!!

Then, I decided enough is enough I am going to hunt down the rat and put on my invisible armors and went on to the battlefield I said, “It is me or the rat tonight!!!”

Seeing my valor, the friend who was on the bed suggested throwing our slippers under the gap between the cupboard and the floor of the room that the rat ran into, to drive it out. What a Brilliant, idea! We joined to drive it away. All the aids of ours became a weapon against our little enemy.

Our enemy was a small rat that had been feeding on our hostel food I guess and it almost double the size of a big ant. But we were frightened by its sight, that we were definite to hunt it down and make a fry out of it... [I wasn’t thinking of feeding it to some of my friends, who said I can eat any Non-Veg].

It was freighted by our shrieks and we were frightened by its hazy and quick simmering through the room [Nobody, knew which of us was more frightened! Phew!]

We were on with our hunt and we tried to wake it out of the room and in vain. It ran hitter and titter but not out of the room…all this was happening and there was a loud banging noise and rolling of things, things falling from the cupboard tops, the rattling of the suitcases, the heavy shrieks of ours whenever it ran in our sight, the banging of the doors, the shouts of the other inmates, It is here, It is there….all much of a chaos, but in spite of all this our sweet roommate who was in the heaven was busy singing some romantic numbers with the lords up there or her dream boy[ not sure!!!] did not turn once in her bed, or bother to wake up and offer us her help.

We thought, WOW!! What a flawless incarnation of the Ravana’s brother Mr. Kumbakarna???!!! Now we had a mighty and legendary Ravana’s brother but in vain, we the Sita’s in Ashoka Vanam, had to fight the battle till we got our Hanuman, to save us from the present crisis.
Of course, our room is an Ashoka Vanam for us, for me and one of my room mate, who were living in solace with our dutiful husbands at our hometowns and we were fighting against these four legged creatures to keep us peace!!! What a piece of mythological story!!![I did not think of this till, I started writing about this episode. Will try to elaborate on this sometime]

Coming back to our hunt, we were also running hitter and titter and then I finally gave up, I thought a man’s hand would come handy and thus went in search of the watchman, I found him having his dinner right then, what a timing!!! [Had to wait for him to finish and then join the hunt]

So, there was help offered to us, and we tried to be calm with the surrounding and returned to our talking that centered on this little creature. What and how to get rid of it or how do we refrain it from getting into our room again….so we were on again.

Then what looked as a long time, the watchman entered our dinning room, I looked at him and thought, ‘What is he doing, without any weapons? How is he going to hunt down the rat? Does this man have sense?’ [In my mind, I thought maybe this man will fight the enemy with bare hands! Wah! What a man!]

But, then he came in asked us me in telugu, “Where is it?” I don’t understand a word of telugu but, I knew it had to be related to the rat. So, I showed him the place where it had hid from us. He just looked around and banged on the cupboard…I thought, my god, he is going to break the cupboard, instead of driving or killing the rat.

He then said something in telugu to my room mate, who is localite and thank heavens, she knows the language. He went out and got a broom and by the way he was walking with that in his hand, he looked like the “Arjuna, with his Bow and arrow…!”

He came in and put it into the space between the cupboard and the floor and did something that the frightened rat ran across the entire stretch of the room and hid again below my cupboard, I kept telling him it is there …here…there…here!!!

And then he walked from there and bent below the cupboard and knelt down to put the armor into the gap to drive the rat….and Lo! The rat ran across the stretch of the wall that held the cupboard and passed away by the front door.

Aapa!! What a tryst with the enemy. A battle well fought and the enemy is driven out! Immediately we had the laughter of victory and the Arjuna went in search of his prey….
We immediately closed our room door, no the tyranny wasn’t over yet…we saw a gap below our door which could not let one rat but an army of rats into the room. The gap was such big. We were in a fix what to do.

What! Will happen if the rat went and complained to its chieftain and there was an army of rats waiting to hunt us down…Oh! No, we don’t need Arjuna’s or legendary men, we needed the enchanting Pied Piper to take them away with him.

Now, it was almost 12.30 am where do we get the Pied Piper…leave alone a soul! Again the savior of the night, that is me, came up with a brilliant idea, quickly ran to the front door of the hostel and grabbed the jute sack that was lying there, I know, it is to wipe your feet when you enter the building, but I did not mind. I wanted it to protect us and I knew it would through the night protect us form our little enemy….

I neatly folded the sack into four folds in the breadth wise and spread it across the door and slid it into to the gap and Lo! It fitted perfectly into the gap and our Ashoka Vanam was saved from enemies of any sort, leave alone the rat, even Ravana could not get into the place in search of Sita, without making a racket or disguise!!! Well, need to check if that rat was in fact someone in disguise!!?? Might be can’t say!!!