Seven Year Itch….!

I have heard this the first time, after I got married and I had always neglected it whenever I had heard it before.

I was thinking it is a myth and did not pay much attention to it, unless it started it hitting me hard from all sides. I found couples around me talking about it and there was something or other going around me in wrong dimensions.

I was worried I don’t fall a victim to the same old fact. I wanted to hold on to the strings of the so called marriage and run it into the right stream, so far have been successful.

But, I am worried about a lot of things that’s happening around me. I wanted to know ‘What this is itching all about?’ and ‘Why is it creating such a rush in the life?’

I went on to the search central and did a wide search on the topic and I found a lot of websites teaching us on what it is and how to avoid it to an extent. But, one thing that I did not understand is that, ‘Does this phenomenon happens only with relationship or marriage or with every aspect of life?” If it happens with all the other aspects of life then why do relationships are the ones that undergo the roughest patch in life…?

Why people fall into the trap of a seven year ordeal?

Let me explain, what is the seven year itch and what does it refer to?

Seven year itch is a syndrome that happens to people in relationship or in a marriage. By and large this phenomenon happens in a marriage and studies suggest that many divorces and break-ups happen due to this itch and it in only few people who sustain this itch.

I was wondering about the people who sustain this itch and survive through and go beyond the seven years of married life.

I was wondering do these people really call their married life a bliss or what compromise that they further did to sustain the maintainability of the so called marriage.

I did a further search to see how this horrible itch can be put into ease and what is the ointment or cream that can put the itch to a mere scratch on the skin and not cut through deep into the throats of each other in a relationship.

I wondered all that happens has a psychological reason to the itch that happens actually after a seven year. It is presumed that man starts to re-think his life that has been through the seven years and all that he gave up or did to make a few things work stands so much in front of himself that it becomes and ordeal to go through the rest of the days that’s in relationship.

They also go on to say that the differences and the negligence that happened through the start of the years in a relationship or marriage becomes a burden at the start or end of a seven year and people start looking at life from the misdeeds that they did during those periods of so called compromise.

So, the real culprit is man who lets of what he does not want to give at first and at the end of the seventh year he starts asking for all that he wanted in the first place?!

How weird, the mind takes seven years to process the data?

Some psychologists go on to say, man who does not able to sustain through the itch they go astray and look for relationships that satisfy them superficially, such a partner who is anew to relationship or a another person who is looking for a sexual gratification gets along to stratify their needs and what follows is two life syndrome…and it takes another seven years to rectify the mistake we make then.

Understood man is a complex being in a simpler cover…but at whose stake is all this that he undergoes.

The world over knows the reason for the problem but not one website tells us to overcome the problem and there are no success stories that have overcome this visible itch.

Now, why do we need a website that talks about it and its symptoms and the same way why do we need some others learning’s to do what we want in our life?

How do we cope up with the itch? If, I tell you a few things that I did or will do will it help? If it helps won’t that again be your own problem of little bit of adjustment or set an expectation as in that happened with such and such life and it got alright, why isn’t it not working with my life?

What’s the remedy?

Who am I to say remedy, ya? Nevertheless, I say you look into your life after seven years putting up with something why not try doing it for another year and make it an eight year itch and sustain the thingy in your life forever.

That isn’t as simple as it is said, but if the seven year itch is there, all you got to do is work around and figure what’s the best you can do in the given situation. That will require you of all your energies and social conditions…!!!

Are we ready to do?

If we could get into a relationship with the hope that this will go through and let me give up this one instance…let us see that we continue doing that in the seventh year or rather let us not get into a relationship that does suck at the seventh year, and I am going to look around and say, “I did this, now you do your recommendations…?!”

What say, folks…let me know what you feel about it.

Schools Reopened

Yesterday, morning I could see the school kids back at my bus stop, we share the same space to board onto our respective buses…they to their school and me to my office.

They are accompanied by people they can relate to, mom, dad, thatha (grand-dad), patti (grand-mom), sister, brother or the maid of the house.

I could see some faces brightened by the sight of their own kinsmen standing…some of them were quite and some were asking a lot of questions as usual.

There was more color to the school uniform than usual, they were bright and crisp and were smelling of afresh. There were brand new bags, new lunch boxes and a uniquely designed water bottle to go with it.

The bag were full of new text books and new note books all covered in brown sheets and labeled with several beautiful label stickers.

All of them were enthusiastic to go to their new classes, which was waiting for them with the ever complicating problems of mathematics, growing boundaries of geography, intriguing science, the captivating history, the bewildering civics, the over whelming social studies, the more rich English and the language that was getting little tough and rough.

The classes were new and the teachers new…out of which some were favorites, new classmates, new benches and a renowned knowledge and the sense of growth of our knowledge and the physical growth of us!

The fresh smell of the books and notebooks, the conversation over the different combinations of brown paper, lamination sheets, labels, the geometry boxes, the graph notebooks, the geography workbooks…all alluring and intriguing.

Well, it is that time of year when the kids and grown-ups start afresh in school and college with an advanced step and put in all their efforts and hard work to get rid of the ignorance they hold true to themselves and bring in the light of everything we see, read and sense!

Looking at all of them taking new steps towards their life and study, I felt even me got to be enthusiastic after a week-long gap and got into my bus and started my journey to the office with an added zeal from the Yoga classes I attended and looking at the zealots.

PS: The photo used in this blog post are taken from the Web. Please, raise if you have objections to it, will be more than willing to replace these photos.

Crowing Crow!

Well, it has been really a long time since I sat back in a relaxed manner and listened to the sounds of the surrounding…!

Don’t know when was the last time it happened…must be when I was going to school and those lazy sunday afternoons when you don’t have much to do after a long and delicious lunch of your mom’s….you feel that the television is boring, the songs played on the radio is boring, your walk man is too much of a pain….and then you just sit or lie on the bed that is at few inches away from the window with the curtains playing a shadowy show on the walls and the breeze from the neem tree, is even and the sunlight hitting you hard….you just wish why the school does not work on sundays too……………..!

If this wasn’t enough you just try to think of something nice and doze off into dreams when this crow do not know from where it just appears at the tree and starts singing a lullaby for you….!

You can hear its distinct crowing and adding to this you hear a distant crowing….that is so distinctly very haunting.

Yes, the crowing of the crow is really painful and your heart stirs each time it crows…!

Have you heard those distant crowing of the crow…?

I heard it today again…I heard it very close to my ears but it was somewhere on a tree further from my window and the blocks….

I was reminded of these lazy afternoons…on a summer holiday is a distant village where the sunlight is so much that you can’t play in the sun with your friends and your grand mom and grand dad calling you indoors, you lie on the mat looking at the ceiling and listening to the mythological tales, tales about godliness and devils…and how the gods fought over the evil…and how you should always be doing good deeds to keep the momentum going and how god punishes people who do the evil…!!!

The crows being the incarnation of our ancestors…they bring us the news from the other world…and all we do is shoo it away…and wait for it devour the food we offer it on every thought of an ancestor….!

I am reminded of the lazy summer afternoons and the sun seeping in all its light on to the grounds…whenever it crows!!

Why do we do…what we do?

It is now almost lazy summer afternoons and after a hard week at the office, all you do on these hot afternoons is to have your own siesta or pick up an unnecessary conversation with your own siblings or family or your spouse or friends and end up with grudges that eat up the rest of the afternoon….and evening!

In one such afternoon, when the whole family somehow tries to sleep over the time….I was stuck with this stupid laptop of mine and nothing much to do either on farmville, fishville and cafeworld…all the virtual games on facebook….that only offers you ‘phase value…!’

Hmmm….so nothing much to do, I started pondering over today’s events and found some strange and interesting facts about ourselves – Human Beings….this isn’t a theory or a conclusion…and whatever I say here will not stand true to most of us…but there is relatively a higher rate of occurrence and repetitiveness in behaviour of ourselves…!

Here’s a list of things that I noticed…!

• Advice people only whenever they make a mistake in life and tell them to not do as thus…!
• Always wait for something to happen and then say,”I knew this is going to happen!”
• You slip or have a muscle catch the whole kith and kin knows about it…including those staying far away from you….!
• You always seems to have the last word in the family…!
• You propose something to your friends and end up following what they have to say or do…!
• You seem to make plans and you don’t seem to be doing it…!
• Only when you want something you don’t seem to find it in abundance…!
• You seem to gossip when it somebody’s subject when it is yours, you simply say,”lets talk something else…and come back to you…!”
• Praise somebody whom we like and neglect or talk ill of people whom we don’t like!
• Always scream at people below our age or who are working under us…even when we aren’t angry with them!
• Try to mumble something when we don’t find anybody responding to whatever we have to say…!
• Hang on to the good old days we had and keep saying them to maximum number of people we find and bore them?
• Listen to a song repeatedly even after listening to it a number of times…!
• Find it hard to memorize a thing of knowledge and never forget to remember a celebrity’s birthday or a celebration…!
• Get lazy to play any movie for yourself on a system or a DVD Player or the television but sit watching it when someone plays it…!
• Feel the thirst to drink water when you see somebody drinking water…!
• Feel the hunger till somebody offers you to eat…!

The list goes on and there are more weirder ways of living this simple….life.

Do share some of yours…let me at least know that so many of me…is around this weirder place called earth….that is a planet on the milky way…suspended somewhere in the galaxy – how much more weird that can be!

Shyness, frail women!

Hmmm....I know, I am one of them but don't know how much of what I have said here will justify whatever is being said here....I will do justice up to the extent possible...I request the men folk to add to it and tell me....If I was right! :)

Yesterday, night I sat watching television and some scenes from a teleserial caught my sight and was astonished by the scene and the subtlety of it....!

The scene is between a supposedly husband and wife of the serial who have got together alone in a new setting and almost totally head-over heels in love with each other....it so happens that they are now in the complete sense of the relationship called - married life! ;)

So, it was kind of funny looking at what all these actors are asked to do for the sake of acting and they have to put up with the weird acting till the sound of 'cut' by the director and not to forget the improvisations done to the whole acting...Oh! man what a place and action...!

But I was just looking at the screen going blank by my thoughts then suddenly I was astonished by the blushing and coyness of the heroine...and the various out of place dialogues given to her.

That was not all I could not resist the shyness exhibited by her. I was delighted by it and it sounded close to reality and wondered in real life situations...where all does a lady shun her shyness or is there such a thing or is it history with the modern lady who has armored the man's world with straightened backs and long strides...!

My mind immediately answered me, “It does not take away her naturalness at any place...a lady is a lady in all true sense...”

I sat thinking about the various crucial turns in her life where she is really shy to do something but does it by shunning it away and knows...it is all pleasure and nothing but pleasure...!

Read on...and tell me if that is fine and you agree with me! We will go chronologically according to her age; I know it will be interesting to read some parts....but got to read from one. :)

Childhood:

The ages from five to ten are the innocent period of one’s life irrespective of the gender. Here, we can see both genders equally shy and coy but this is very much unique to watch and it tells you that the growing up of the kid is on the block…!

In very few years, these kids will be grown up and you have to be cautious with them. The girl child becomes aware of her surroundings and starts to build a process of her own. She is seen quite in her activities, less resilient and less troublesome…and more responsible.

She seems to rap with her mother, understand her and support her….when she is praised for something she has done…she becomes happy and you can see the sort of shyness exhibited by her…by running away into her room and coming out of it after a long time or hides behind the pallu of her mother…or the curtains are her rescue…or the chairs and tables…or the sofa…or hide in-between the feet of her dad…it is so beautiful…to see it.

In this period of shyness, there is innocence and certain amount of sanity in it and it takes all your feelings towards the little thing and your really appreciate her.

Adolescence:

The ages of 10 to 20, happiness comes very rapidly and with it comes in a lot of understanding and knowledge gain. This age there are many things that open up the knowledge quotient and reduce the innocence quotient similarly to the event of opening a Pandora’s Box and with it a lot of interventions, restrictions, restlessness, and worries…!

This is a period of rebelliousness and the girl child endures a lot when compared to the other gender. She is kept on a constant watch and asked to do a lot of things which she voluntarily or involuntarily does it.

She is aware of herself, her soul, her body and her emotions and they all add more confusion to the already confused mind…!

She is always in company or she is seen talking to her friends most of the time and that is her world. You don’t see her around you, like you used to see, her always behind your pallu…or screens, you she her more outgoing and at more appropriate timelines… there is an amount of secrecy about her.

She is shyer and that we can see…she never comes in front of others and is worried about how she looks. She is more conscious of herself…takes time in her dressing herself or while bathing or taking utmost care off the things in vogue and wants to add that to her already increasing list of demands.

If questioned, she just looks at you and wonders… “Aw! Why don’t mothers understand and give you a nasty look…” all the innocence vanishing from her.

I love this age of hers…she comes to know more than what you knew at her age…kind of scary and all of a sudden all that shyness gone and more openness about her…!

Age of Happenings:

The ages from 20 to 40, is the age of know-all but quite calm and composed ages. This is the period that the inherent quality of a woman – thy shyness plays a vital role in the entire life cycle.

It helps her at various stages of her life and at various conditions of her life. The mind is fully grown and goes beyond comparing the reality to the dream world…! There is a constant search for the appropriate person, place and thing.

The restlessness continues but now it is subdued and there is a constant watch around her and her surrounding is always buzzing with bees and there is great pleasure in it. There is a change in her way of approach, the way she talks, she laughs, she carries herself, there is change in her completely and always in a crowd she wants be heard.

If cornered she is seen at her…her shyness comes in handy and she takes the help of it to the fullest extent.

She finds it difficulty in finding a perfect balance between the shyness and laughter. She knows what is to follow what, but have to be innocent enough to let the whole thing happen. The sly look she gives at you when nobody is watching her, the intense glance when you are doing something not ok and glance at her…the cheerful look at her face, the shyness in her eyes, the pride in her…when you walk with her, the first lunch or dinner, the brush of your hand, the raising heartbeat, the intense feeling of emotion following within her, the eagerness and the difficulty to stop things from flowing into one another….!

The coyness she spreads across her lips when you held her hand in front of so many people and well wishers, she knows that you are the one…and in her pride you can see a tinge of shyness!

The start of the new life with you beside her…the first touch, the first things that you all do together you have her coyness along to do away with till she takes care of you as her own…!

When she makes you promoted to your next stage in life, you can see the shyness in the smile she carries that takes away your breath and tells you what it means to her.

The circle is vivacious and it goes on….from then on!

Known & Seen it all:

The age from 40 onwards is a stage in life when you return to your own careless state and enjoy things that you used to do when you were young and innocent.

Here, you can see her shying away from things that she used to like do…till yesterday, such as holding hands with you, when she crosses a heavy trafficked road or looking at you intensely when you are reading a magazine or just brushing your hair when you are lost in those intense moments or watching, reading or thinking…!

All those moments when you caught her unaware the shyness that used to tingle you to continue with her uneasiness…is no more interesting her.

She is still shy and says, “Oh! Come on stop it not at this stage of life…” and brushes you off as if you were asking her to do a taboo…! She is again aware of her surroundings and does not want to be caught in an awkward position and is always keeping track of what she does and keeps a tab on you as well….!

This stage of hers is so nice that you feel like taking her in your arms and cuddling her up…she brings in all the innocent shyness that gets lost during the course of life and transformation that she takes on….!

Now, she is fragile as a flower and if handled well, she brings in more happiness than the yesteryears that have gone by………!

Are we ready to take the women of your life who goes so much of changes in one life? Was I correct in telling all this to you….come on do tell me!

Comments are always welcome as usual…I would love to hear about your thoughts!

PS: Pictures in this blog are used from the internet...any copyright issues please raise, it will remove them. Thank You!

A Happy New Year!!!

Here…it is that time of the year…!

When the year that brought you so many memories…

Is going to be replaced with a ‘New’ and ‘Fresh’ year….

Continue with the same Valor and Vigor…..

Wishing you all the readers ‘A Very Prosperous and Fabulous Happy New Year’!!!

External Appearance in ‘Phase of LOVE’!?

How important is the external appearance in ‘Phase of LOVE’?

I am asking this question because today morning someone I don’t talk to but acknowledge each others presence each day…had opened to me and asked me, “Madam, Should I make any changes to my teeth or should I leave it just like this?”

At first I did not understand but answered, “You are just fine, why do want to change anything?”

I could feel the relief coming over then later came to know that, that the person had slipped and fell flat on the face and broke partial of the front teeth that is usually seen when we speak, laugh or cry….!!!

Then, I noticed the broken teeth and the effect it was doing to the person’s face. Though it was negligible, it was evident only when I saw it for the second time and this time, I was looking at the broken teeth without any reference to it… I knew it was there.

To me, it did not make much difference and the person looked the same…but for that person things had changed, there was a mesmerising change and hurt…the person was not comfortable with what was being reflected in the mirror everyday morning, noon and night…!

Sleepless days followed…tears flowed…endless thinking…several questions…no comfort…pain…hatred…loss…thirst to change that one moment…anger at self…sevral suggestions…several visits to cilincs…all this happened with just one moment in life.

I could not grasp…the emotions…why is this feeling more than the pain that broken teeth is causing to you?The person told me it was still paining at that place and it has been 4 days back…the pain is such that having something to chew is becoming a difficult…!

The pain on the jaw is less than the mental torture the picture raised…!

Can you believe it…? Can physical pain be nothing in front of the mind and its tortures?

Adding to all this, this person was attracted to somebody and was waiting to tell that person…about the way, the feeling was flowing…now, even before there is an acceptance…there is the fear of rejection – just because of a broken front teeth?!

I marveled and that person after telling me all the confrontations and struggles of the poor mind and body, told me of the emotional pain!!

I was dumbstruck…How can appearance be all that important when you are in pain and loss…?!

I told that person…that is just fine…Relax…You liking a person does not stand on whether you have a teeth or a broken teeth…? You are just fine and go ahead…life will continue.

I could see a respite on the face but the reluctant mind kept ticking…I am left skeptical!!

Companion...thy name is Love!

On my journey to Chennai this weekend, I came across a couple who sat next to me in the Aerospace bus to airport.

Unlike me, who was traveling to the final destination of the bus, they got down several stops before me. The striking thing that I found in this couple is the care and affection they had and showed for each other.

I don’t know whether they were husband and wife or just companions or whatever state of relationship they were in…the thing that mostly mattered were that they showed complete confidence in each other and trust that we could see through.

It so happened that I got inrigued and started watching them as their common conversational language was English. Though they did not either speak as perfect tech savvy types or try to ape the westerners with an accent. They spoke perfectly well that each of them could understand each other and respond.

It was by mistake they got into the bus I was in. They have been regular in their travels that they assumed this bus to be one of their regulars. They had offered a fare of Rs.40 to the bus conductor for their trip and found out that it actually cost them another 40 rupees, for their trip.

That is when they come to know it is not their regular bus and need to get down exactly one stop before their place and walk up to till there.

The conductor asks for a name for their place they want to get down, but they don’t seem to get the place correctly, they just remember the place they need to get down.

The guy is so much in his thoughts that he keeps repeating to her…not sure where this bus is going and where they need to get down.

The girl comforts him by saying, they can take an auto from the stop as it would cost them another 20 rupees only and she has done it several times. He just nods to her and tells her that it is actually far…and calms her before she gets worried.

They keep talking to each other and she points to their bus that they usually take, when it plies past them. At this he just nods and his forehead worry lines tells us that he is thinking at the stop they need to get down.

After much thinking, he tells her, I think we need to walk a long distance. At which she says, ok will walk by, what to do?

She now gets into thinking; I see her tapping her fingers on his lap and lost in thought. Then as if out of revere she says, yes, it will be far…I thought about another bus-stop when I said we will take a auto, no use we wont get auto’s there…we have to walk.

At this, the guy laughs and says, so at last now you have come to a conclusion… at this she says something further that is understood only by them.

I could see both smiling at each other. A passenger next to them opens a conversation with the guy and he almost repents to him taking the wrong bus. He tells him that they usually take another bus and when she stopped this bus, he did not check it. Now, wondering how she will be able to walk so far.

Just before their stop is come, the bus conductor asks them to get ready and he stands up taking the bag she has and moves forward. He cautions her about the step beneath her feet and asks her to be careful about the step.

He moves forward in the empty bus…keeping a watch over her and instructing her to catch hold of the rods that are provided for support in the bus. He twice lets out a cry to be careful and looks onto the road in front of him.

He finds that it is the same place where they have to get down, he strikes one of his beautiful smiles and looks at her with a relaxed and pride look. They both smile and nod their head in acknowledgment and the bus stops at their stop.

He gets down first not before asking her to be careful and then gives her a hand to hold on for support as she alights down the bus.

The bus slowly moves on and I find them walk hand-in-hand towards the long road that unfolds in front of them.

I wonder, for almost a century now, I believe that sweeter are the conversations you have in your own mother tongue and the sweetest journeys are when you share it with your loved one.

I was proved wrong…the conversation can be as exciting and beautiful as long as you are talking or sharing your feelings with someone you like and love. I could not strike a resemblance to any language as their mother tongue and they seem to be conversing the way they did sometimes, by laugh, by touch, by smiles, by looking at each other, and not the least by talking …

For an instant, I felt the warmth of love and affection and companionship in all one package! I was moved by the amount of worry that guy had for this woman…his worry lines almost spoke his heart and the amount of care he bestowed upon her…they way he led her and took her hand…helped her alight the bus. She is being given a royal treatment. May they be blessed together!

PS: The couples were in their old age, the man must have been above 60 years of age and the women must have been the less or same age as him. They just made a wonderful couple.

(Read Again...)

Walk the Dog!

Living in metro cities and the plush locales of the city, one common feature I watch everyday - "Walk the dog".

Well, everywhere else there are these street dogs that are targeted for all the other reasons except for a beautiful morning walk, sometimes in the cold mornings, sometimes in the sunny mornings, sometimes in the foggy mornings and sometimes in the dullest mornings.

It is so funny, you know!!! The dog walks in front of you and you running or pulling it towards you or make it walk at your pace. At times, you wonder who is taking who for a morning walk.

I am really baffled by this feature?! Dog - Human beings best companion and a wonderful and emphatic listener!

I wonder why they take this dog for walking, coz, some dogs just graze around the garbage, some just keep sniffing at the other passers-by on the road, some bark at every person who passes-by, some drag the master ahead of his/her stride, some run wild letting lose the strands, some sniff at the street-dogs, some try to patch-up with the other breeds, some just drags by letting the master be ahead of him…whatever the intend behind – ‘Walking a dog’.

I initially presumed that it was only in the process of getting it habituated to get into clean habits and the early morning rituals as human beings. These dogs are taught to be clean in the house and dirtying the roads………cha! What habit is this?!

But, then my reluctant mind did not allow me to stick to the convention and I did a little bit of an exploration into it.

There is ‘Main Hoon Na – Google’, which gives you a plethora of Web pages to display the content related to your specific arena of search!

Of course, some pages are as usual were of no use and of the pages, which had information it states that, “All dogs, regardless of size or breed, need to be taken on daily walks, jogs, runs, bike rides, rollerblading, any means you have to get your dog moving. Taking your dog for a walk is an important ritual in keeping your dog mentally stable.

A dog, as an animal, is a walker/traveler by instinct. Packs of dogs get up in the morning and walk. Simply having a large back yard or taking your dog to the dog park is not going to satisfy this instinct in your dog.” [Courtesy: http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/articles/dogwalk.htm]

Adding to this there were lot of ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ and benefits of walking the dog and various other activities for the beautiful companion of man!

The cliché is that I came across only the maids and the male servants of these houses taking these faithful animals for a long walk! I don’t know if the animals got benefited by it but ‘Yes’, the maids and the male servants really seem to be enjoying each others company.

For, I could see a beautiful and a meaningful relationship developing between the two breeds and the society seeming to erase the casteless society and make it a single large entity of love and understanding.

I work here and you work there….and we live in wealth though not ours but almost ours [Yeah! they are the ones who enjoy all the wealth accumulated, for the owner is busy acquiring more sweating in an air-conditioned office!]

Yes, of course, [Did you think otherwise? I hope, not. I don’t perceive things, I see them?!]

I am talking about the animals [I wish, I could write ‘dogs’ here. But, I am being a little decent for the fear of my writing to be misinterpreted. It won’t isn’t it?!] of different breeds developing a relationship and walking in unison with each other in eternity, on every beautiful morning on the shaded plush locales and running around or cajoling each other, warming up to an effective active life and energetic one!

I see the dog being exercised in the mornings out in the best conditions of the environment and trying to make it effective and remain healthy so that it can accompany the man a little longer than required!

I see the man trying to exercise in the air-conditioned environment and reduce the fat accumulated by eating all the possible junk along with the healthy eating habits?! Yet, bond with the animal forever!

Who needs the exercise, the dog, the maid, the owner? I am perplexed. There is Website enforcing on the exercise for the dogs and the man as well! Who listens, who cares, you walk my dog and I walk the machine, and tell the world – I am healthy, I exercise and so does my dog – everyday although individually!

PS: Alas! This is a feature only specific to Indian Subcontinent.

Washrooms of IT Companies!

A particular act of the masses has been so much levying on my mind for some days that I am not able to come out of it and how much ever I try to rationalize with the act, in vain.

With the advent of civilization came the usage of baths, toiletries, toilets, and places of private usage. But in today’s modern world in the concrete buildings and huge structures of offices in cities, this small enclosure that is used to excreta the human wastes has become more in demand for all the other things than its intended use.

I don’t know if I can generalize this act, but for the line of reasoning and to come to a rationalized necessity, I am generalizing it and using it for both the genders of human kind.

The most private and the enjoyable place of human inventions are the Washrooms, no doubt about it. It is 100% the best relaxing centers, seats of discoveries and salvation’s to everyday problems, OK. You people are getting the point; I can already hear smiles and nodding of heads.

Archimedes, found his theory of determining the object density when he was in his bath, the volume of water displaced must be equal to the volume of the part of his body he had submerged. Such is the worth of that private enclosure.

Yeah, so where we were…that place has so much to offer to us, in return of the SHIT we do there. But, who cares!!!

The toilet seat is the best and the convenient place on earth, none of the comfy sofas and beds would offer us such comfort. We are almost comfortable doing anything from reading a newspaper to magazine, a fiction to a non-fiction writing, doing mathematical calculations, working on our interest rates, the balances in the savings account, pondering over the ever increasing credit payments to be done, recollecting the outstanding bills to be paid, every damn thing we can think about sitting on it, which we can’t process sitting in the comforts of the sofa, air conditioners, the lavish rooms, the personal computers or along the waves of surfing that we do day in and day out.

When it has so much to offer can you give away your piece of heaven to someone or with something that disturbs you. Exactly, I can hear your “No’s”…I sympathize with you.

This is the comfort that it offers anywhere it is be it common place washrooms like the shopping malls, cinema halls, airports, railway stations, highway gas stations, restaurants and our very own offices, we can open our God given personal computers, our ‘brain’ to ponder over all the things that we forget the instant we are out of it, Alas!

I know we come to office for the job that is offered to us. But, at any point of time you can see at least one-fourth of the population, oh! You think it too much, Na…it might be a little exaggeration, but it’s fine, ya. Thank god, there are intervals in people taking their time… Ahem! Let me get to the point…

The point of my rationalization with the act is I find the afore said place is being used for all the other purpose along with the intended purpose.

Let me start with some good introductions of usage-

1. It is a phone booth. You can find all kinds of conversations, I guess the emptiness and the solace of the compartments make people move to it, as if the other places are crowded, anyway, conversations of cajoling, laughter, romance, brotherly, sisterly, mother-daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, husband, children, boyfriend, one0night stand, newlyweds, newly-engaged, newly- in-love, introductions all kinds of conversations possible.
2. It is a relaxing center with the phone on ears. They comfortably sit on the washbasin stand and that too with stretched out legs and clasped hands, thanks to the ear phones and mikes, you don’t’ even have to hold the phone in your hand. Don’t whom or who is on the other end, you don’t whether they are talking or listening to the silence, who is benefited the ‘Service Provider’.
3. It is a place for all the private talk. This is the most common phenomenon; people come in groups and go in groups. I seriously don’t understand how this is ever possible. And even after they are at the private sinks they don’t keep quite, they continue with the over the door conversations, and if you ever hear you really go mad, at listening to all the code and decodes in the sentences. You never know what they are talking.
4. If you want to pick a fight with your loved ones, this is the place. You can scream at the top of your voice nobody hears and you can also hear the sorry and make-ups to follow.
5. The best part, if you want to have talks about the gossips going about in the office corridors or things like who gives a stare at whom, who is impressed by whom, who gets the most allowances, who is going around with whom, what are the affairs that are legal and non-legal…Oh! what not, a plethora of details and stories, indeed!
6. You can also hear the vivid descriptions of the most happening discount sales and the wonderful collection of clothes and accessories in the town and across the city! The best places to eat, shop, roam and hang-out! You can even catch one or two beautiful reviews of the movies that are running in the town !!! Not to forget you also get a medical help to the several or lighter problems in life which is a mix of all the ‘pathy’ of medicine known to human cure!
7. Last, but not the least, the intended purpose. Hmm…at last peace in using it for the right purpose.

I am not able to understand how they can deny the privacy and the peace of the place and putting it use for the right work. Some people even still talk with the phone on behind the closed doors of the closet. I wonder how they do it!!!

It is very disturbing when you find someone in there talking, laughing, arguing, cajoling, and doing what not. It sometimes feels as if they might be laughing at you, with no purpose. It is so senseless and I wonder, why, they hell they built the washrooms in the first place.

Or sometimes, I am really motivated to write a letter of requisition to the authorities asking for a phone booth area for all the love talk these people want to have or conversations of magical importance to themselves and let me do my work in eternal peace.

But, what should I have the subject line of the mail, keeps me dropping the idea…I feel tempted to say, ‘Allow some peace in the private closets of the Washrooms.’

You can read a detail of a 'Men's Room' here at my friends blog :
http://mota-blogs.com/2009/07/17/my-stint-as-a-sw-prof-part-ii/

Phukat Ka Maal, Phukat Mehi Gaya!

Hmm…I am describing a strange happening here today. I am not able to come to terms with the feelings of the occurance. I am just wondering, why I am not reacting normal to it or am I behaving abnormally?

It was a fine Saturday morning, I was at my hostel, it was quite and calm. The day started as usual with the gup-shup over morning coffee and then the detailed plan for the day. We (I, another 2 girls) decided to go to the ‘Brand Factory’ shopping mall and do some shopping, as one of us wanted some thing.

I did not want anything to buy clothes but had wanted to pick up some basic needs of the month. I had to use the Food Bazaar of the same building. We decide to leave at 4.00 pm in the evening, when the sun is less resilient and scorching, unlike the day.

Therefore, finally we left our hostel at the appointed hour and started our journey towards ‘Brand Factory’, which is somewhere between the bus stops of Jubliee Hills and Panjagutta.

We reached the place and started looking at the various things of display starting with the sandals and shoes section, though nobody had the intention to buy a pair of sandals. Nevertheless, who knows, a woman never knows what she wants, but has to look at the things that has been offered to choose.

I seriously did not have any intention buying any piece of cloth, until I saw the ‘Bare Denim’ brand and their offer. By, the time I had come to the point I already had some of my immediate need items from the ‘Food Bazaar’ and was just tagging along with them, passing comments on the things they selected or rather telling them what they expected out of me at that juncture.

All, I had to do was to nod in agreement to whatever they asked me, “This looks nice, na.” “Hmm…yes, but you know this goes better for this…etc…etc.” You now how difficult it is to handle a ‘woman of choice’ they want all the qualities and quantity in one…how is that ever possible!

Oh! How many things to consider before you make a choice, the color, the texture, the design and the brand…Oomph! You can never say, sometimes I believe they should go to the milling mills and ask for their versions and then start the weaving machines!

Nevertheless, do you think, they will know anything there…Na…Na! It is because they have so many choices, choosing one out of the possibilites is difficult and there are many probabilities to our choice.

Jokes apart, the shopping basket was getting heavier, we had to drag along. Thank god, the shopping baskets come with attached wheels. The wheel basket is a unique ‘Innovation’ of a man, who had tried hard to balance the load and decided to attach wheels to carry!

I was standing in front of the ‘Bare Denim’ racks looking at the offer and it was irresistible, three at the price of two. I know it is a goof, but I was ready to fall for it. I saw some rare colors and picked my share of three. I was to try them as well, look for fitting and things. Normally, I do not do that but in a crowd, you follow them!

After our session of trails and re-trails we noticed that we were either big for the clothes we chose or the clothes were big for us. We tried all combinations and after our trail session, we got on to the top floor, which is the ‘sportswear’ section.

Now, I did not have any disposition to buy anything from here how luring the offer may be. However, you know the sales marketing personel is very much clever and brutal. The offer of ‘Buy One Get One Free’, is absolutely luring at us…I was not carried away by it though we were right there looking at all those beauties…You do not believe me! These sportwear are more like a fashion statement today then serve the purpose.

It is as if we end up buying these beauties only to flaunt them and tell people how interested and privileged you are to your well being that…You only know! Every day we feel you should use your shoes for a walk, or jog or run and then you procastinate that tomorrow will be the day. Well, each of us has our own reasons…now wont they be valid with so many brands available! What do you think; all sportswear is just for sports, AH!

Wait until I narrate this…I kept my calmness even as a pair of yellow sneakers, beautifully craved, was luring me and by the brand “PUMA’ smiling at me and asking me to take it over. I even stood there and imgained how good this shoea will look on a Friday causal dressing day and all those compliments…Man, it was echoing on and on.

I finally had to call the guy to ask him how much it was…Shucks, these brands always come with a price I guess….!!! Now, my friend who was worried about her increasing weight (the only thing that does not wait for you to respond!) wanted to jog and run or do something to reduce the gradual increase (but was not ready to scarifice her sleep!) I know it is difficult getting things easily!

She had wanted to buy a sneakers for quite sometime and did not have clue to what and how to buy…so she started to look for and the offer was good, beileve me!!! So, we started suggesting things for her and she wanted something in only black, we told her it isn’t school shoes and you have to wear them in different colours and sizes so that people notice…

Therefore, the hunt was on…finally after what looked like a decade, the search narrowed down on what was like two options left. Therefore, she had to take the one she liked and the less liked by her. We were on fun spree and I just cajoled that she can give off the ‘Phukat Maal’ to me, as she likes it least and I liked it!

Nothing settled then we just went to have dinner by then it was about close to 9 o’clock. We had food at the ‘Malgudi’ house, the place of southern food! It was good…and left from there getting some heart shaped balloons from the balloon vendor and had ice creams at the ‘Temptations…’ the best ice-cream vendor in my place. It was a great evening with no regrets until it all went topsy-turvy…!

Though it had been two days since she gave away the Phukat Maal to me, I was wondering she is not being normal to me. Then, on the third day I found, a knock on my door at about 11.00 pm, I wondered who it was now. I find this girl standing and she says she wants to talk to me…I thought ok so what’s it.

She says, ‘Hey, Kavitha if you aren’t using the shoes I gave you, my friend wants it.’ I was open mouthed…I did not know how to react. I just recollected from the shock, my reflex worked perfectly, I know many a times it bretrays me…and look here it worked perfectly.

I cooly said, Yeah, yeah sure, here take it…actually, I was planning to wear it today, but since yesterday it had rained I thought it was not safe. Here take it…’

It took some fraction of seconds when all this happened. She went off and I stood there like a stupid, not knowing what to do. All kind of emotions flowed in to me, I felt deprived, I felt hopeless, I felt like crying, I felt Like screaming at her…I felt like revenching ion this particular aspect…I found it hard to digest and it was almost 12.00 in the night I could not explain my situation to anyone.

I tried claming my mind as if telling myself, “It was here’s and she took it Kavitha, relax anyway it wans’t yours…” However, the evil side of my mind did not listen to me and I felt depressed. Somehow, I played some music, the music looked mocking, and I splet off with a heavy heart.

The next morning I find her speaking to me normally, I thought ‘Man, Girls are girls on all days. Now, I know why men find it difficult to talk to them…‘Perfect Camouflage’

The whole point of writing this post is why I am not able to come to terms with this happening. It has been about 4-5 days and I am still debating in my mind why it is so? Why is that? I have no clue, but yes this episode has certainly taught me to be carfeul with things that are being offered to me in any form! It is right under the radar! Do you get what I say!

Congratulations to My Satyamite Friends!!

Hey, heave a sigh of relief…the ordeal is over.

I congratulate every one of you, my friends at Satyam who stood by and saw this day happen.

I could not be with you all and share the joy, but I sincerely wish you luck from all my heart!!!

The day is not far when you build the company, as you all have done. The sun is out and will shine!!!

Have you noticed a pattern in life??!!

In my times of confusion and helplessness, I always wondered there must be something more to do. I always wondered am I missing an important sign that my mind along with my logical brain tries to comprehend the situations. This kind of situation puts me into a lot of introspection as to what, why and how?

I have lived in various places right from childhood and every time I settle at a place I will be or am asked to leave and start again. I used to always think, why me? This also reasons to make my quest to the answers, I sought in my interrogations.

On one such interrogations, I started noticing a pattern in the way people gets displaced from one place to another and the earth retains its balance of holding the right amount of weight at a certain place at a given point of time on its surface, maybe who knows???!!!

I sound idiotic, right!? Yes exactly, what I thought at the first instance it struck me. Let me unfold my theories or substances to the aspect in discussion.

Have you ever wondered, when you are quietly seated in the comforts of your room, office, house, lobby, coffee shop in any part of the city, be it in your homeland or be in your foreign location, there is activity in that city’s railways, airways, seaways, and roadways.

Yes, the transportation of the life is very much active. Be it every single day or 365 day, round the season, round the year and in fact year after year. People transport from one place to another and there is a constant rotation of people on earth. Why does this happen? Why should people travel? Why people move from one place to another? Why don’t they all sit at peace, like I am sitting? I say this because I don’t want to travel now; I have no inclination and neither the necessity.

Another interesting piece of news or weird information is flights or aircrafts are not supposed to dock in an airport for more than an hour or otherwise the airlines have to pay heavy fee for docking the aircraft in that particular airport. So, the planes keep flying between destinations hour after hour….non-stop. [Have you heard of a port for the civilian aircrafts?!]

But across the globe and across your own country there is some people who have the necessity and the reason to travel, just like you did on your holiday, your vacation, your meeting, your sorrowful journey or happy journey, anything. If there is a necessity it comes unannounced to you and you have to travel.

Have you ever noticed this? Whenever you want to book a ticket for your unplanned and immediate travel, you don’t get tickets? You get a waiting list ticket, you crib that why do people always travel at the same instant you want to travel….but the real truth is, an unplanned travel equates with a planned travel a vacation or a yatra or another unplanned travel, it can be anything. You are never sure…..

So, now I got your attention, let me tell you further…there is a constant journey of some soul in some part of the village, city, or country. Now, to find an answer to the most important question? Why does travel happen? Not sure right, but it does happen and it brings a cause with itself to substantiate the visit.

These questions in my mind set my thinking and I started watching closely this pattern of travel. I have been moving from cities as I have already confessed, I always found someone replacing me in the vacant place, I leave.

That is confusing, isn’t it? The explanation will be. Suppose a person from a city named A, leaves with his belongings to a city named B, there is somebody displaced from the city B either on the day you arrive there or there is vacant place you fill in. This vacant place sometimes is a vacuum that you fill in… (Hope, you understand!!!???)

The pattern of filling a vacuum is even stranger. Where should I start? OK. I will start with the pattern of death and birth. I noticed it in my family. There is an equal and opposite reaction to this pattern. Whenever there is a demise that happens, it is quickly filled in with a birth somewhere in the city. I have noticed this in families. Sometimes, it happens in the closer circle of relations.

This pattern is also evident in a city, street, locality and in the community we live. A village is a small representation of a big city, let me start there. A village has lanes and streets that follow certain address, similar to the office locations in a city. Being smaller in number, the people live there in communities and they are evident to every other person and their respective family members. They know, when a death happens, when a birth happens, the pattern goes on….Street 1, there was a death, and Street 2 there is a birth and vice versa…

The other kind of pattern happens whenever you leave a place and start living in a different city. I started closely watching this kind of pattern and I could always correlate some kind of shifting either in my family circle or in my friends circle.

Another, example that confirmed the pattern was when I closely saw this relativity happen. I am at present working in Hyderabad and did not intend to come to Hyderabad on all accounts and never had the slightest inclination to leave Madras (Chennai) ever.

I came here to work in an office on deputation and just came there to finish off the work and leave the city as soon as possible but as days rolled into weeks and weeks into months…I found it difficult to leave this place due to work and eventually after a few months, I decide to make it my city.

There were a few people who were transferred here to a certain project where I was working, with all their belonging they had moved in and I saw them returning and I who not intentions of being here, had to stay back with my belongings. [Was that a sign of pattern??!!]

Then, when I found out one of my friend moving in here to Hyderabad along with his belongings and his family, I wondered who is going to be displaced from Hyderabad. I heard a couple of my friends, like this are shifting out of Madras, this month-end and I again see the pattern unfolding. It is time for me to displace myself from here… [Looks like the pattern works!!!!]
Did I make sense? Do I look insane? No, I just wanted to say there is certainly a pattern and it is very alive, like you and me.

Till then with sanity, asking you to look out for such patterns in life.

Men folk Read and Women folk Think!!!!

I was in the auto waiting for the signal to change so that this huge bus behind the auto moves forward and I reach the destination in the appointed time.

The wait was killing me and I was feeling annoyed that I had to fruitlessly wait on this auto on this junction of road wondering and calculating every second of the time amongst the blaring horns and smokes from the carburetor depositing on my skin, face. The exhaust fumes irritating me and literally choking me out of breath.

I just started wandering around and started looking at the array of vehicles around my auto, the pilled cars, public buses; the motorcycles. Wow! I got lost in the crowd of colors and engines, what machines and what range of brands.

Leave alone the four wheelers, the motorcycles weren’t behind, just a glimpse will tell you that they were themselves in various shapes, sizes and colors. The motorcycles had the most wonderful and intricate companions on it. They motorcycles were colorful to compliment the colorful couples as well.

When you are awed by one aspect or by another aspect where do you concentrate, Yaar! Tooo… Hard I tried not to gape at them, and turned my head but my eyes did not seem to listen to me, every time I turned to look at them I was acting weird, either I was trying to hold my dupatta which did not fly in the wind or outside the auto, but being conscious as I am, turned towards the side to look whether it flew in the wind.

I was trying clutching my hair that wasn’t waving in the air or I was trying to get some air, waving my fingers against my face to flush in some air…. What not?! Every time I did this small gesture of mine, I got an array of events registered in my mind, such as a perfect picture in a camera.

I watched closely sitting dames, clutching the mid-rib of the guy who is driving, I saw a dame saying some sweet nothings into the ears of the guy, I saw some dame and guy playing with the dames fingers that held his thigh, I saw a dame almost over him, she was flat on his back as if from a distance it looked the two persons were merged into ‘One Soul and One Body’…How divine!!!

Hmm….What a romantic day and perfect location, I thought looking at these guys and girls. Hot sun, sticky weather, the dusty sand winds, the exhaust of the vehicles, the blaring sound of the horns, the spitting auto drivers, the loud talking motorcyclists, the loud stereos system of the auto’s…Oh! What else you require, perfect picturesque!!!

Suddenly in my mind a thought struck, I wondered whether these guys felt the discomfort of their girls sitting so close and in that sticky weather and the tension of the driving, the stupid horns blaring …did they feel the discomfort of all these?

Agreed, the pleasure of being in love is all divine and so heavenly that every moment of it is cherished. But, the constant nag of these things in life did it bother them too….??!!

Do they feel like saying, “Arey, hat na yaar, thoda hawa anethey” or do they think “Oh! God let the traffic clear; I will drop her off and then take a breath of aram.” Or “My back, is hurting, does she understand that? Why, doesn’t she understand things, I put my hands on her she says after sometime, It is heavy, please. But she is almost lying on my back for about thirty minutes and what am I, Huh!?”

Not sure what these guys think and I feel these girls should also not hinder them like this. Anyways, being loved and being in love is an elate feeling and it is certainly not for exhibition at the least and not for look at my love types…

It is great felling that runs deep into your nerves and keeps you excited always but it is certainly not at the cost of the loved ones.

All these actions are good in cinema, because the road is cleared for shooting and most of the times in cinema the bike just stands in one location and it looks as if the guy is riding the bike and the romantic scene goes on…..but in real life the traffic is so much and thanks to all the senseless driving that happens it is really a tough time for even an aced driver or motorcyclist to drive home safe, almost like an absolute art of navigation.

When conditions are thus I guess, having a girl behind - be it a girlfriend, hanging out partner, wife or whatever the relation is …the guy is more responsible at that time to take not only her safe home but also him, so that he continues the chauffer ride.

I pity these guys, they do so much for these girls and still the women folk consider the men, irresponsible, not sensitive, not romantic, not up to expectations, and what not.
Do the men folk enjoy all these or they just bear it or like some say it is a nice feeling to have a female close to you??

Somebody get into the other side of men and tell me what do they think??!!!

PS: This post is just an extension of my thinking mind.

My saga with the City – ‘MADRAS’ : continues

Let us see some histrionics of this city, fondly called ‘Madras’ and then an incident that happened with me when I first got to Madras.

The Madras city is one of the oldest and the capital of the state Tamil Nadu in India. It the country's fourth-largest city. It is located on the Coromandel Coast of the Bay of Bengal. It has an estimated population of 7.45 million by the 2005 census. This city of Madras is the 367 year old city and is the 34th largest metropolitan area in the world.

The beautiful city of Madras was founded in the year 1639 when the English or the British brought it from Naicker. In the year 1640, the foundation of Fort St. George was laid and it still stands today as one of the important landmarks in the city of Madras or so called Chennai city. In the year 1679 the St. Mary’s church was completed and stood erected, a year later the Madras City Municipal Corporation was inaugurated and the first place to be annexed to this city is Triplicane. So, triplicane is the oldest place of the city.

The city has seen being invaded by the French, Dutch, and British at regular periods of time and history is evident of these facts. But not only these people the great king Hyder Ali Khan who proved a treat to the British in the South have also tried to invade Madras in the 18th century and due to his victories and a few other Nawab’s we can see the mosques erected in and around the old city.

Madras has the longest coastline of 12 kilometers and the Marina beach, which is an important tourist spots in the city, is the second largest beach in the world. The beach begins at Fort St. George in the north and ends at Besant Nagar in the south. The beach has stone statues that adorn the roadside area of the beach. The Statue of Labor is of great significance on this beach and it one of the known landmarks in the city. The beach holds the memorials of M. G. Ramachandran and C. N. Annadurai, former Chief Ministers of Tamil Nadu. This city is accessible by all ways of transport, such as road, water, air and train.

Talking of travel, I am reminded of an unforgettable episode of mine. I already have told you I came to madras when I was studying in seventh standard and at that time, the Tamil I knew was very little limited to the basic requirements of the man, such as food and water.

My childhood started in Calcutta, so was forced to a common language and was driven to speak in English and the other option of language was Hindi of which I just beginning to learn. In home, both my parents being educated there was no necessity to speak in language that I wasn’t used to. So the usage of my mother tongue, Tamil was reduced maximum and knew very few words, such as amma, appa, thanni, pasikithu, naan pogannum, vidu, po, va...etc.

I could not make out complicated sentences and usage of verbs and consonants, so I knew very little or meager in Tamil.

Being in a Central Board Syllabus Education and thanks to Kendriya Vidhayalaya (KV), my second language was Hindi and the scope of learning my mother tongue got ruled out very early[I really regretted later of not having learnt my mother tongue!!!]. I got transferred to a KV in Madras and happily, I and my sister started to new school, new environment, new people, new teachers, everything new.....

It being the first day to school, my dad who was in the Central Government job and the head of an institution head dropped us in school in his official jeep. Since, we did not own a vehicle then and said he would come to pick us up in the evening after school.

With no such information of my dad’s phone number or address of my house in my little brain and the responsibility of my sister, I felt proud in my mind and tried to handle the situation with great charm and addressable nature set to my first day.

My school was in a place called Pazhavanthangal, and the name of the school was Kendriya Vidhayalaya (KV), Meenambakkam right opposite to the runway of the International Airport in Madras. From my school we could see several aircrafts taxing on the runway before takeoff and while landing. We in school during our Physical Training sessions used to sometimes stand watching it from our play ground.

It was a Saturday, the day we (I and my sister) went to school and it was a second Saturday of the month and as a rule at that time they had half-day school and during my school days eventually the second Saturday got declared as a holiday.

We both were in school and it being the first day we did not know what to do and with all new things got lost in its mystery and were like frightened chickens. All classes went well with introductions to the Class teacher and other subjects and I hated that day as I had to often stand and repeat every piece of information to every other teacher.

The last class of the day was Chemistry class. It is part of the subject called SCIENCE and the three parts of the subject such as, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology was handled by three teachers who internally managed the class schedule.

I stood and explained my story to the chemistry teacher Lalitha, as well and when I finished she asked me the intelligent question, “Do you know your way back to your house?”

I just stood there looking at her wide-eyed knowing not what to say, after a minute I managed to say, "Yes, maam, I know my dad will come in the evening after school.”

She started laughing and I wondered why, in fact got irritated by her laughter, thinking in my mind why is she laughing? She very cleverly said, “You don’t know today is second Saturday and the school works only for half-a-day, as if an intelligent and possible discovery by her.”

I told her, “OK, I will leave by afternoon then.”

She said, “I appreciate your braveness, child. But how will you go?”

I told her, “Maam, if you tell me how to go from here I will go by myself, no problem. Otherwise I will ask somebody and then go.”

I don’t know what she felt in her mind she said; “You are really a brave girl. And addressed the class and said, look at her, she does not know the place and still she is not afraid, you should all be like her. Be brave.” I felt happy at her words but I did not know how I will be able to do that but somehow thought I will be able to do. I just relied on my internal guts.

Then she asked my mother tongue and she started speaking to me in Tamil. I told her I can’t understand much Tamil, at which she really kept hand at her hand and said, “Iyoo Rama.” She asked me if I had some money to return home, I said no. Then again, she said another “Iyoo Rama.”

She asked me to come to the staff room after the class for money and then leave. I had no clue of which buses go or how to go...somehow I knew from the fragment of conversations between my mom and dad that the place where we stayed was called Ekkaduthangal.

I did not want to go and ask her for money, so I asked a girl or boy not sure, next to me for some money. I promised him/her to return it the next day. Nobody gave me; at last one small girl from the last bench came forward and gave me One Rupee coin.

I did not know how much will the ticket cost...anyhow I took it from her and thanked her for the money and informing my teacher I started my journey to home along with my sister.

We reached the bus stop, my sister started crying and she was afraid how we will go. I kept assuring her that we will ask every other bus that stops at this place if it goes to Ekkaduthangal and then climb in and go. I kept her spirits high, talking to her.

Then a bus stopped, it was named 18N. I asked the conductor if this bus will go to Ekkaduthangal and he said, ‘Yes’. I helped my sister get in and then got in and found a place and sat there. Then the conductor called for tickets then I went to him and asked him for a ticket to Ekkaduthangal. He asked me how many? I said, ‘One...’then he asked me for your sister, I told him she is a small child so no ticket for her.

At this the conductor laughed and said no you have to buy for her also. I said, ‘Oh! ‘He started saying something in Tamil and I said I don’t understand Tamil.

He asked me my mother tongue, I told him and he said, “Tamil ponnu anna Tamil theriyathu....”
Everyone in the bus laughed and he said, ‘For the tickets it is 0.75p + 0.75p, you have to give me Rs 1.50ps’

At this I really got scared and said, in whatever language I could manage that I had only One rupee and he kindly took that rupee and asked me will I give him the change tomorrow. I told him yes and also asked him to show me the stop. He said, ‘yes, he will.’

Then after we got down, we went home and narrated this to my parents and other relatives as well and I became a hero [oops...heroine] in my house.

PS: The next day the same conductor was in the bus and I offered him the 50ps he took it and said, “Thank you, for the help you did yesterday.” I did not know if he understood what I said but he attempted to talk to me in English after that for few days....

I happened to live there after so many years in a place called Nanganallur, which is excatly the other side of Pazhavanthangal and whenever I used to pass my school the first thing that comes to my memory is this very day of school.