Just Wondering!!!

I just read a fellow blogger write about me....this is the second time another blogger wrote about me in the same space that we share day in and day out....!!!!

I wondered what made them write about me...Still wondering, Why?!

I feel obliged by their comments and inspirations that they bring to my soul...the hardest content on this planet is to bring a satisfaction to the inner self of a human being....leave alone the inner self of a person.

It is enough if one reader sits through your initial lines of writing. The writing has to have some kind of rhythm and life in it for it has to invoke the inner sense of living that we all correlate as the ‘I’ of ourselves.

Did I do that? By, my friends writing about me I really felt, I am that!! But the sense of accomplishment tells me, ‘Maybe you have the talent, Kavitha?!’ the other mind of mine says,

‘Hey, now come on don’t fly high. What if a certain group of people, who are in the same, like minds accepted your writing and accolade you, there are several others who might not have enough found your stuff all that edible at all….Enough I try to silent that mind of mine. In vain, it screams larger than ever.

I wonder what to do and just sit back and introspect myself…I find I am almost there to be a good reader and listener, but a writer I am a long way to do something commendable.

I feel great reading your responses about my writing, maybe I am different and maybe I am unique, but will I be there without you people…No way.

I stand in gratitude to all the people who have read my posts…and to all those people who haven’t felt worth a read!!! Coz, it makes me sharpen my talents and the more I sharp the more

I poke at you to turn back at me and at least touch my post for once!!!

Yes, have I been successful in telling a story convincingly. I guess I made a point there. I made people wait for my posts and read it. It was a challenge writing ‘A Medical Romance’…I still remember the days when I used to rack my brain for ideas, situations, thoughts, dialogues, scenes, etc to make my story convincing.

The days I try to sneak in time during my office time to churn pages of story and post it and then constantly refresh the page to read the comments….

Seeing the comments, though it was almost by the people who had been waiting for it to be posted…I liked the way they responded to my views and writing and the happenings in the story.

I had a lot of people ping me on my communicator after this story became a hit list on blog, they wanted to know what is to become the next day and it was even made them imagine what will be in the next episode….

I have to confess, here…each chapter of A Medical Romance (AMR) was written carefully and each day, with one chapter to be posted. I wrote each chapter afresh with not thinking about it except for developing the plot….someday as days went by I had to post two chapters a day and then it continued…

Till the day I started writing AMR, never had I done anything like that and never had imagined I might do something like that. I have written 31 chapters with a Prologue and an Epilogue…It was great thinking and arguing within my mind about the best of scenes and dialogues.

I will never forget the trips that I made from my home to STC by Satyam bus, full of songs and thinking and building on my story…the one and half hour journey from Kondapur to Bahadurpally gave me ample time to think, ponder and develop my story and write it on pieces of paper wherever possible…and keep it ready to translate it into a chapter and revisit it.

I used to also read out my thoughts into my mobile and record them…for later visit and translate them into words. I did all that I could in that time and that was the only time available for me to develop my story.

It was a great feeling when people out of blue dropped by the post and post their comments…I had already an audience but when I used to read comments of occasional readers that used to enthrall me to write more effectively.

It was a great experience writing for an audience and an audience who used to wait for my posts and my story was great return that I earned and will always cherish those moments in my mind till this birth. I kept talking about all of your comments till the last post and even after that to my family and friends and I felt proud and accomplished at having such a talent.

I hope to publish this story as coffee book or a fiction…day is not too far when I do that. When I see you people remember me for AMR, I feel I can do it.

Till then, will stay in my memory and feel obliged to all those readers who had made me write. I know the world outside is waiting to meet this ‘WRITER’ who writes for ‘YOU’

Signing off…in true inspirations of tomorrow!!!

Phukat Ka Maal, Phukat Mehi Gaya!

Hmm…I am describing a strange happening here today. I am not able to come to terms with the feelings of the occurance. I am just wondering, why I am not reacting normal to it or am I behaving abnormally?

It was a fine Saturday morning, I was at my hostel, it was quite and calm. The day started as usual with the gup-shup over morning coffee and then the detailed plan for the day. We (I, another 2 girls) decided to go to the ‘Brand Factory’ shopping mall and do some shopping, as one of us wanted some thing.

I did not want anything to buy clothes but had wanted to pick up some basic needs of the month. I had to use the Food Bazaar of the same building. We decide to leave at 4.00 pm in the evening, when the sun is less resilient and scorching, unlike the day.

Therefore, finally we left our hostel at the appointed hour and started our journey towards ‘Brand Factory’, which is somewhere between the bus stops of Jubliee Hills and Panjagutta.

We reached the place and started looking at the various things of display starting with the sandals and shoes section, though nobody had the intention to buy a pair of sandals. Nevertheless, who knows, a woman never knows what she wants, but has to look at the things that has been offered to choose.

I seriously did not have any intention buying any piece of cloth, until I saw the ‘Bare Denim’ brand and their offer. By, the time I had come to the point I already had some of my immediate need items from the ‘Food Bazaar’ and was just tagging along with them, passing comments on the things they selected or rather telling them what they expected out of me at that juncture.

All, I had to do was to nod in agreement to whatever they asked me, “This looks nice, na.” “Hmm…yes, but you know this goes better for this…etc…etc.” You now how difficult it is to handle a ‘woman of choice’ they want all the qualities and quantity in one…how is that ever possible!

Oh! How many things to consider before you make a choice, the color, the texture, the design and the brand…Oomph! You can never say, sometimes I believe they should go to the milling mills and ask for their versions and then start the weaving machines!

Nevertheless, do you think, they will know anything there…Na…Na! It is because they have so many choices, choosing one out of the possibilites is difficult and there are many probabilities to our choice.

Jokes apart, the shopping basket was getting heavier, we had to drag along. Thank god, the shopping baskets come with attached wheels. The wheel basket is a unique ‘Innovation’ of a man, who had tried hard to balance the load and decided to attach wheels to carry!

I was standing in front of the ‘Bare Denim’ racks looking at the offer and it was irresistible, three at the price of two. I know it is a goof, but I was ready to fall for it. I saw some rare colors and picked my share of three. I was to try them as well, look for fitting and things. Normally, I do not do that but in a crowd, you follow them!

After our session of trails and re-trails we noticed that we were either big for the clothes we chose or the clothes were big for us. We tried all combinations and after our trail session, we got on to the top floor, which is the ‘sportswear’ section.

Now, I did not have any disposition to buy anything from here how luring the offer may be. However, you know the sales marketing personel is very much clever and brutal. The offer of ‘Buy One Get One Free’, is absolutely luring at us…I was not carried away by it though we were right there looking at all those beauties…You do not believe me! These sportwear are more like a fashion statement today then serve the purpose.

It is as if we end up buying these beauties only to flaunt them and tell people how interested and privileged you are to your well being that…You only know! Every day we feel you should use your shoes for a walk, or jog or run and then you procastinate that tomorrow will be the day. Well, each of us has our own reasons…now wont they be valid with so many brands available! What do you think; all sportswear is just for sports, AH!

Wait until I narrate this…I kept my calmness even as a pair of yellow sneakers, beautifully craved, was luring me and by the brand “PUMA’ smiling at me and asking me to take it over. I even stood there and imgained how good this shoea will look on a Friday causal dressing day and all those compliments…Man, it was echoing on and on.

I finally had to call the guy to ask him how much it was…Shucks, these brands always come with a price I guess….!!! Now, my friend who was worried about her increasing weight (the only thing that does not wait for you to respond!) wanted to jog and run or do something to reduce the gradual increase (but was not ready to scarifice her sleep!) I know it is difficult getting things easily!

She had wanted to buy a sneakers for quite sometime and did not have clue to what and how to buy…so she started to look for and the offer was good, beileve me!!! So, we started suggesting things for her and she wanted something in only black, we told her it isn’t school shoes and you have to wear them in different colours and sizes so that people notice…

Therefore, the hunt was on…finally after what looked like a decade, the search narrowed down on what was like two options left. Therefore, she had to take the one she liked and the less liked by her. We were on fun spree and I just cajoled that she can give off the ‘Phukat Maal’ to me, as she likes it least and I liked it!

Nothing settled then we just went to have dinner by then it was about close to 9 o’clock. We had food at the ‘Malgudi’ house, the place of southern food! It was good…and left from there getting some heart shaped balloons from the balloon vendor and had ice creams at the ‘Temptations…’ the best ice-cream vendor in my place. It was a great evening with no regrets until it all went topsy-turvy…!

Though it had been two days since she gave away the Phukat Maal to me, I was wondering she is not being normal to me. Then, on the third day I found, a knock on my door at about 11.00 pm, I wondered who it was now. I find this girl standing and she says she wants to talk to me…I thought ok so what’s it.

She says, ‘Hey, Kavitha if you aren’t using the shoes I gave you, my friend wants it.’ I was open mouthed…I did not know how to react. I just recollected from the shock, my reflex worked perfectly, I know many a times it bretrays me…and look here it worked perfectly.

I cooly said, Yeah, yeah sure, here take it…actually, I was planning to wear it today, but since yesterday it had rained I thought it was not safe. Here take it…’

It took some fraction of seconds when all this happened. She went off and I stood there like a stupid, not knowing what to do. All kind of emotions flowed in to me, I felt deprived, I felt hopeless, I felt like crying, I felt Like screaming at her…I felt like revenching ion this particular aspect…I found it hard to digest and it was almost 12.00 in the night I could not explain my situation to anyone.

I tried claming my mind as if telling myself, “It was here’s and she took it Kavitha, relax anyway it wans’t yours…” However, the evil side of my mind did not listen to me and I felt depressed. Somehow, I played some music, the music looked mocking, and I splet off with a heavy heart.

The next morning I find her speaking to me normally, I thought ‘Man, Girls are girls on all days. Now, I know why men find it difficult to talk to them…‘Perfect Camouflage’

The whole point of writing this post is why I am not able to come to terms with this happening. It has been about 4-5 days and I am still debating in my mind why it is so? Why is that? I have no clue, but yes this episode has certainly taught me to be carfeul with things that are being offered to me in any form! It is right under the radar! Do you get what I say!

Congratulations to My Satyamite Friends!!

Hey, heave a sigh of relief…the ordeal is over.

I congratulate every one of you, my friends at Satyam who stood by and saw this day happen.

I could not be with you all and share the joy, but I sincerely wish you luck from all my heart!!!

The day is not far when you build the company, as you all have done. The sun is out and will shine!!!

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My Stint with Spiritualism

It’s been a long time, I have been hearing about a lot of Gods Men and their help to the distressed ‘Men Folk’ of the world. Raising them to the upper strata of life, enjoying and at the same time being happy within them.

It all translates into absolute bliss and there is so much of talk about relieving, stress therapies, and various centers of concentrated camps (Yeah, kind of!!!) where you can relax and learn to enjoy life in spite of your traumas.

There are various yoga centers and meditation centers mushrooming in the large cities and especially where there is wealth and prosperity for they are the easy targets for all these stints and they get hooked.

Now, being to a genre of the IT, can I be far away? Whenever I claim, I am stressed and over worked there are a number of mouths telling or advising me to various therapies from Ayurveda to Modern Sciences.

This is me, here but my husband is very much inclined to these things, not that I am not inclined. I feel it requires another form of living and two things cannot be mixed up.

He is influenced by the ISHA Yoga Centre, which is based in about 40 kilometers from Coimbatore, the cotton city of South India. He is so up to the mark that he did his research on the net about the place and the offerings and the preaching and something made him feel comfortable with the teachings of this person, who is known as, Jaggi Vasudev.

Hmm….anything under the sun is at the click of the mouse, irony here!!! Something live is driven out of the house. But still finds a place at your study table in an electronic form.

Ok, where was…I wasn’t mourning for the mouse. Yeah, so he had made up his mind to visit this place in Coimbatore, which is at about 4 hours journey from my hometown. We were waiting for an opportunity and there came a fabulous opportunity and we made our plans.

I have been to this place even before this trip together. This place is a very nice, quiet and calm and when I had been there it was just making a mark of its own. It had been just started and there were a lot of construction going on.

So, I was actually eager to see this place for a second time. Now, what is there in this place?

There it is at the foothills of the Velliangiri Mountains, is the Dhyanalinga Yogic Temple or the Meditation Centre in which is in the form of a dome and it holds a Shivalingam that is very huge in size.

It has a Theerthakund, a rectangular space filled in with water and it too has a Lingam in the centre immersed in water. The specialty of this Lingam is that it is made up of ‘MERCURY’.

Yep, mercury solidified and immersed in water. Man, this pool or kund, whatever you want to call has the purest form of water and though it is put to use by several disciplines and visitors. It is believed that this water will enhance spiritual receptivity in a person and if you immerse yourself in the water, hold the lingam with your hands or clutch it for a few minutes and return to the sanctum to meditate, you gain positive vibrations.

It is believed and being practiced. Whatever be the quality of the water not sure but the water has immense buoyant and density. It is clear and it is being replenished by a spring from the above that is on one side of the wall.

So this was something new to me…I was waiting to experience this. I haven’t been immersed in water and never been to a swimming pool. I did not know how to feel inside water or how it feels??!!

I had made up my mind; I will take a dip and following all the procedures that were read out to the group that goes in to the Theerthakund. It had about some several big steps that lead to the water.

I started descending the steps with an air and as I neared the water, I got literally scared. I know it was a water enclosure and there is no happening of an undue current even then I got scared and I stood on the last stair and was just helplessly seeing people in it.

There were a lot of ladies around the Lingam and they were all lost in meditation. I was just looking around for a savior. We were not supposed to talk in there, so I could not talk to anyone.

So all my efforts went in vain and finally I was standing on the steps looking at the place, the water, the people, and the stairs and thinking and making my mind towards taking a dip. My conscious was trying to tell me, “Kavitha, it is only an enclosure of water nothing will harm you, just try, and get in”

But my fear did not find it a good reason enough and was standing. There are people who help you around, so one such lady came down and was looking. She asked me to sit down on the step letting my legs drop in the water below. I sat down obediently and have just rested on the step, when a pair of hands just pushed me into the water.

That’s it, I wondered I am lost, I am drowned and I almost lost myself. I grabbed someone’s hand and held on to it like it was my last life line. But the effect was fabulous but my fear did not allow me to enjoy.

The first turned out to be a different one and still remember the lady who pushed me into the water and wondered what would have happened to me.

All physics had gone out of my mind and all my learning and survival techniques. I stood out of the water as if I had lost all and had nothing with me. It was an incomplete feeling, not describable. Then we had a deep meditation inside the meditation centre and went home talking about the dip in the water.

The next time I went after two months, I did the same and I enjoyed it. This time it was a different experience and it elated the inner soul and I promised to return to this place one more time.

Each day has a different meaning attached to here and they meditate in the sanctum with different experiences to it.

I did not get really moved and got into the ‘thing’ but certainly I feel a difference and this difference I am not able to explain.

Oh!! Oh!! Did I start the same thing again in a different form? Shucks!! No, yaar, enjoy life as long as you want.