Seven Year Itch….!

I have heard this the first time, after I got married and I had always neglected it whenever I had heard it before.

I was thinking it is a myth and did not pay much attention to it, unless it started it hitting me hard from all sides. I found couples around me talking about it and there was something or other going around me in wrong dimensions.

I was worried I don’t fall a victim to the same old fact. I wanted to hold on to the strings of the so called marriage and run it into the right stream, so far have been successful.

But, I am worried about a lot of things that’s happening around me. I wanted to know ‘What this is itching all about?’ and ‘Why is it creating such a rush in the life?’

I went on to the search central and did a wide search on the topic and I found a lot of websites teaching us on what it is and how to avoid it to an extent. But, one thing that I did not understand is that, ‘Does this phenomenon happens only with relationship or marriage or with every aspect of life?” If it happens with all the other aspects of life then why do relationships are the ones that undergo the roughest patch in life…?

Why people fall into the trap of a seven year ordeal?

Let me explain, what is the seven year itch and what does it refer to?

Seven year itch is a syndrome that happens to people in relationship or in a marriage. By and large this phenomenon happens in a marriage and studies suggest that many divorces and break-ups happen due to this itch and it in only few people who sustain this itch.

I was wondering about the people who sustain this itch and survive through and go beyond the seven years of married life.

I was wondering do these people really call their married life a bliss or what compromise that they further did to sustain the maintainability of the so called marriage.

I did a further search to see how this horrible itch can be put into ease and what is the ointment or cream that can put the itch to a mere scratch on the skin and not cut through deep into the throats of each other in a relationship.

I wondered all that happens has a psychological reason to the itch that happens actually after a seven year. It is presumed that man starts to re-think his life that has been through the seven years and all that he gave up or did to make a few things work stands so much in front of himself that it becomes and ordeal to go through the rest of the days that’s in relationship.

They also go on to say that the differences and the negligence that happened through the start of the years in a relationship or marriage becomes a burden at the start or end of a seven year and people start looking at life from the misdeeds that they did during those periods of so called compromise.

So, the real culprit is man who lets of what he does not want to give at first and at the end of the seventh year he starts asking for all that he wanted in the first place?!

How weird, the mind takes seven years to process the data?

Some psychologists go on to say, man who does not able to sustain through the itch they go astray and look for relationships that satisfy them superficially, such a partner who is anew to relationship or a another person who is looking for a sexual gratification gets along to stratify their needs and what follows is two life syndrome…and it takes another seven years to rectify the mistake we make then.

Understood man is a complex being in a simpler cover…but at whose stake is all this that he undergoes.

The world over knows the reason for the problem but not one website tells us to overcome the problem and there are no success stories that have overcome this visible itch.

Now, why do we need a website that talks about it and its symptoms and the same way why do we need some others learning’s to do what we want in our life?

How do we cope up with the itch? If, I tell you a few things that I did or will do will it help? If it helps won’t that again be your own problem of little bit of adjustment or set an expectation as in that happened with such and such life and it got alright, why isn’t it not working with my life?

What’s the remedy?

Who am I to say remedy, ya? Nevertheless, I say you look into your life after seven years putting up with something why not try doing it for another year and make it an eight year itch and sustain the thingy in your life forever.

That isn’t as simple as it is said, but if the seven year itch is there, all you got to do is work around and figure what’s the best you can do in the given situation. That will require you of all your energies and social conditions…!!!

Are we ready to do?

If we could get into a relationship with the hope that this will go through and let me give up this one instance…let us see that we continue doing that in the seventh year or rather let us not get into a relationship that does suck at the seventh year, and I am going to look around and say, “I did this, now you do your recommendations…?!”

What say, folks…let me know what you feel about it.

A Dawned Reality?!

An old library building, it is so silent that the gloomy look of library gives you a shudder to enter in its complete serene silence…but the Librarian at the desk performing his task with few heads pondering over magazines and books beyond comprehension….!

The book rows stands out in the dim light and with the combination of the sunlight that is passing through the glass windows from above gives the place an heavenly odor….!

A lone slender figurine stands at the rack of books on world history and lost in thought. She is actually looking for a book of reference and not able to find…she had found it when she was there yesterday. Yesterday, yeah if he had not intervened as usual would not have left the building without the book and would have worked on the assignment.

Half-hoping he pops up again and half-hope of not to make him appear, she intensely looks at the books stacked. She is looking at the book, reading through the name of the book, the author, lost in them…did not notice the guy behind her almost close to her breath.

A hand clutches her left hand with vivid power that it actually aches…she turns around with a sudden shudder that runs through the whole body and looks at a person who stands taller than her and with the shoulders that can rest a troubled face and ease away the pain….looking at her teasingly.

She almost would have let out a shrill cry but recognizing him to be the person she had halfheartedly wanted to be there…she gives him a sly smile, looking into his brown eyes and an inquiring gaze.

She raises her eyebrows seemingly to ask him, “What are you doing? People are around and there is the librarian.”

For which, he replies, shrugging his shoulders, as if he is not bothered and does not care…with a louder teasing smile.

She says, “So what now?” with a gesture of her other hand. She had not struggled to let go of the hand that is being clutched.

He says, “Come closer, with a gesture of his eyes…and nods his head”

She gives him a sly smile and tries to move away from him, realizing all this while he was actually holding her hand.

She looks at her hand, his and then looks into his eyes. He is determined; he gently pulls her closer to him. She stumbles a little and then falls into his embrace and there seems to be no hindrance.

His embrace tightens and she finds herself resting on his shoulder as if nobody else’s business but hers and does not want to leave the warmth and the smell of him engulfs her. She is slowly losing control over her and he seems to stiffen his grip…then she wakes from her dreamy state and struggles to get out of the embrace.

Then, only she realizes how tight his grip is…she struggles in vain, with her pleading eyes she looks at him and he is just smiling at her helplessness. She tries to free herself; he is trying to gripping his control.

She pleads him and lets a soft cry, asking him to let go…!

He says, “No…stay this way”

She says, “No, let go…”

He says, “No, stay this way…”

She says, “NO…”with a louder voice that could attract a crowd and pushes him hard away from her and finds she is fighting with the air around and sitting awake on her bed.

She is shaken by this dream; she has not had erotic dreams as this since she got a changed status in her life and taken over more responsibilities of life.

She looks around for her bedside alarm piece and finds the clock striking five o’clock, an hour earlier than her usual time of wakefulness. She looks to the other side of her bed finding her husband sleeping blissfully without any awareness. Thanking god, for such small mercies, she knocks off her blanket, ties up her long hair into a knot and walks out of her bedroom.

She opens the door of the adjacent bedroom and finds Mira peacefully sleeping. She does not want to wake up her up; she closes the door, when she finds her trying to cover itself up with its blanket in vain when her motherly love pulls her closer to her.

She covers Mira with the blanket, tucking it along the contours of the bed; she slowly closes the door and walks off. She opens another bedroom door across the room and finds Parthi at his study table, trying to read through some text book.

The sound of his mom makes him respond a fraction of second earlier than his mom.

“Mamma, you up so soon….!”

“Hmmm...da. What are you reading?”

“I am trying to catch up with a history test today. Why should we read about some stupid tablets the King put up all over the place and followed some stupid religion after giving up war and conquering…why should we read all this story…mamma? It is so hard to remember them.”

“Son, unless we know what people ahead of us did, we would not be able to decide what we want to do and which is the right thing to do. So it is always necessary to know, what is good and what is bad and what other people did before us…! It indirectly tells you a lot of things. If you are not able to remember all the things that are being said…make some little imagination to what you are reading and make it interesting for you to read and enjoy….!”

“But beware you don’t carry off your imagination so that you forget what you are reading. Will get you a glass of hot milk…” Saying thus she walks away from him and her cascade of hair falls on to her shoulder making her look prettier than any women of her age………..!

“Don’t do that…leave it nah. You look beautiful this way…” this echoes in her ears and is stopped by its utterance and as if in a trance she is stalked at the door step.

“Mamma….Mamma…don’t do that…I keep telling you and you keep doing it….”

She is out of her reverie and finds her son looking at her fondly…she just nods her head as if acknowledging his request and walks off into the kitchen and sets the milk on the stove for a quick boil…!

Looking at the boiling milk she gets lost in the tiny splutters in the milk…!

It had been ages she had woken up to a dream like this…this was just not a dream, it was a part of her reality speaking to her from the past. There was so much fun and frolic in those days of college. She had been in her teens and was always full of life and kept lingering on the mind she spoke with.

She used to be the darling of the college and had a lot of fan following but none dared to make an effort to tell her…but there was this one person who did and that made a difference to her life as of now. She recollects the days in a flash, when she is distracted by a sudden movement at the kitchen.

She finds a shadow move closer to her from behind and the shadow places it hands on the kitchen slab clutching her from behind placing his arms rightly intermittently with her own arms and his breath is right close to her ears….the hot breath mixed with his smell…is making her heady and there he is uttering some words into her ears and she is not able to make sense of what he is uttering……….!

He slowly moves his hand to her hair and removes the knot; she now mostly does this act of her more as habit than a necessity…! Down goes the cascade of hair, soft and silky wobbling with the sudden effect of tension and it drapes her back beautifully with a swing…he rests his face on it for a second and moves closer to her ear to speak into it.

He is giggling and talking into her ears…“You know, I am reminded of the day when I clutched you close to me in the old library building of ours…I wish I could just travel to that time and hold you the same way. What say, darling?!”

She just laughs out aloud and turns around to cover her face on his shoulder and finds peace within…the embrace that lasted a lifetime and many more!

कविता

ज़िन्दगी की आहट को तुम्हारी ज़रूरत थी
तुम ना मिले सब कुछ मिला
मिलने के बाद बिचडने का गम ने किया ये आलम ||

हमारा जो भी था छोड़ने को तयार हुए
तो पता चला
तुम लौटथे ही – सब कुछ जो भी था मेरा
कबका खो गया और में फिर से बन गए तेरी ||

अब तेरी रहकर राह न मिले तो
तुम लगा लेना गले से और कह देना ज़माने से की
एक ही तो ‘कविता’ है जो मेरी थी
अब बर्पूर मेरी होकर रहेगी ||

Spirituality for its own sake (Series -3)

First of all let me apologize for such a long gap between the previous post and this one. I know it should have followed in succession….but due to my laziness or being extremely preoccupied with things on my hand I wasn’t able to so it in the right time and in the right frame of mind.

I hope you understand my precarious position and read through this piece of writing and guide me through your comments and suggestions as always. Without a wasting time…let me proceed to the topic…!

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev or just simply Sadhguru means a world of wisdom and the profoundness that is hard to find.

I am indebted to him for giving me that extra edge over life’s issues and still be in cheer in all that I do.

I got introduced to Sadhguru, way back somewhere in 2002, then I did not know much about him or the foundation called Isha Yoga foundation. I was just a spectator there to the Dhynalingam that was in a very primitive stage and I instantly liked the place and the aura around the place.

Though there were lingering and haunting controversies about the place - which place or being does not have a tinge of madness and controversy attached with no constraints! J

I was drawn to the method of meditation and the offering to the god. I loved the exhibition of prayers to the almighty above there. I offered milk abishegam to the deity in the centre of the dome. I was drawn to the magnetism the place had, the object – the lingam had.

I was feeling something happen to me…I could not explain what. That is when I got introduced to this place and there begun a search unknown to me.

I promised to myself to come back to the place and explore more. I brought a book called, - ‘Encounter the Enlightened’ and that happened to be a reluctant copy brought and signed by the Manager of The New Indian Express, where I worked and few other colleagues with whom I had first visited that place as a mere place of interest.

It cost about 90 bucks. He said, “Why don’t you buy it yourself?” Spat the reply came from me, “No, I won’t buy if you want me to buy, you buy it for me and sign it…that way I can remember the place and you - I giggled!”

People along with us acknowledged what I said and that’s how I got the first introduction to Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and his writings.

The book enthralled me...it was in the form of question and answers. The questions ranged from beliefs, customs, religions, life, death and various aspects of spirituality.

The answers were very much crude and to the point and it did not try to convince the soul that was asking the question. The answers were direct and it said clearly, this is the answer take it out leave it.

Let me introduce the man behind the aspect…!

Sadhguru is a yogi and profound mystic and also is a visionary humanitarian and a prominent spiritual leader.

At home, you can fine him clad in loincloth or in his blue jeans, barefoot on the Himalayas, or on a BMW motorcycle, Sadhguru is mystic himself.

Sadhguru has scientific methods for self-transformation, which are both direct and powerful. He is an icon of that multitude that you can easily connect with and at the same time wonder what the hell is happening around him.

Why do you feel so many transformations and why do you feel magnetic to this person?

There are various kinds of people and artifacts that are exhibited in the name of the ancient yogic sciences of our own heritage.

But, in all of that Sadhguru stands for his witty responses and the way he speaks to the layman. He speaks their language and they find it the better response than anything else.

He does not seem to flatter your ego further and tell you what you can or could have become…he tells you on your face you are not what you think you are and if you feel, what I am saying makes sense to you come over I will show you an beautiful experience that I could feel…you could also feel.

That’s how he speaks to you, he talks to you as a friend and lets you what you can do and brings you on a different level that you automatically set yourself to the liberation that we hear about it wherever we go but have to undergo through a lot of talks and procedures.

Sadhguru found his liberation sitting on a certain hill at a certain day…and when he found this particular experience happening to him exponentially and experience, he thought if he could feel it and experience it all of his friends could or would feel it.

He slowly thought things to people who got interested in what was happening to him and then he diverted this small happening into a larger perspective and founded the Isha Yoga Foundation, which stands tall and elegant at the foothills of Vellangiri Mountains, nearby Coimbatore.

The foundation is run completely by volunteers and the Isha Yoga Centre has a huge Dhyanalinga Yogic Temple or the Meditation Centre in which is in the form of a dome and it holds a Shivalingam that is very huge in size.

It has a Theerthakund, a rectangular space filled in with water and it too has a Lingam in the centre immersed in water. The specialty of this Lingam is that it is made up of ‘MERCURY’.

Yep, mercury solidified and immersed in water. It is believed that this water will enhance spiritual receptivity in a person and if you immerse yourself in the water, hold the lingam with your hands or clutch it for a few minutes and return to the sanctum to meditate, you gain positive vibrations.

There is more to this place than what we think, I have been to the place in its primitive stages and also after it has now been developed so much. Things haven’t changed much except for the fact that there are many a people now flock to this temple as a place of interest and awe.

The Isha Yoga Foundation conducts many a courses that cater to the inward journey of the soul and the journey to the Inner Management of a soul as well.

Like we say, charity begins at home; spirituality also begins at home…! Spirituality is not about giving up living it is about living right and in the right context.

You need to experience whatever I have experienced to know the difference between a good and relative feeling that happens within a soul, whenever we try to differentiate…things.

Hope, you get inspired to do one, reading this or at least tell me about it.

Thoughts.........!

How much ever I try to remember,

The more it is difficult for me to bring those memories.

How much ever I try to rack my memory,

The more difficult it is for me to recreate those moments.

But this much is so true that -

I know not what, when and how things could have been

It happened in a daze and went in a flash

There are years that have gone by knowing not “where you have been?”

“What you were doing?”

I know now that it is difficult to make those days come

As it is difficult to feel for the days that are going by -

From ‘Nowhere’ to ‘Here’ you are and you forever to stay

Where you are, right now, right here…!

An Ovation to Friendship!

How far can any of us who swear by the word “Friendship” and the word “Love for Friends” can do it beyond any boundary?

I just came across a friendship that is irresistible and unbroken even after the friend who is in with you does not recognize you as the friend you have been.

This is from one of my friends from the Community of Illayaraja (IR), who happened to notice this extra-ordinary friendship and is shaken from the beliefs of friendship and I wanted to share this amongst you people.

This episode has really shaken the meaning of friendship that I hold till today.

A man, who has been a hardworking and commoner, who had a livelihood of driving the auto on the streets of Numgambakkam, Chennai with a wife and kids, a life of his. He has been an ardent fan of IR’s music and played most of this man’s music on his player when he used to be on his work every day.

He used to listen and sing along with the tape recorder/music player…whenever the song moved him and he knew the lyrics by heart of each of his favorite song.

He had been going on peacefully but fate had different storyline for him…he could not overcome the troubles on his hand, his family deserted him, he took to drugs to resolve in pain….and in due course he lost his mental balance and strayed in the same streets where he in his auto was minding his own business.

Now, our man is a helpless soul on the streets on Nungambakkam….but strange is the power of friendship and nature. His friend has not ditched him in this tenure and still finds him on the same streets everyday and feeds him.

At first the person denies of any response to this friend but later takes his food, has them and the friend dutifully lands the next day to feed him and quench his thirst.

This is a friendship of 25 years that have stood past the troubles and hardships and it is still continuing till date.

Well, he might not remember that the person who feed him day in and day out is his very own friend but this person has not forgotten the music that he used to sing on his work and till date sings those songs and does not speak much, all he remembers is the songs of IR and that is a lullaby to him that he sings to himself everyday till he falls asleep….!

In spite of his insanity, this person has not forgotten the songs he liked….he still sings them with the same vigor and pleasure that he derived from it before he lost his balance…!

Such is the power of music! Here’s a photo of the two….!

PS: This post is not to ask questions about the friends help to the man to regain his saneness…..or any such activities. It is just to feel about the friendship that has stood even with lots of hardships….!

I don’t intend to hurt your feelings of the word friendship you hold, but to share with you what I felt hearing it!

Photo Courtesy: Eddie Dinesh ( Friend who saw this in person, shaken completely!)

Thanks Giving Post!

Here I am being bowled over by the people whom I wish to say a humble thanks to them. Though my saying thanks to them all is just a small gesture, but I cherish it!

Hopefully, they too cherish the moment of glory!

I would like to say Thanks for being there to Five Important People whom I have in life and have become a part of...in my daily chores.

1. My Amma (Mrs.Mangayarkarasi)

Well, without a dad, mom does not come home. I am glad, in this birth as Kavitha, would like to extend my heartfelt and plain emotionless thanks and die in the fact that I could do this to you, whilst you there.

I am grateful to all the deeds that you did to me, since the time I took shape and form inside of you and came alive in this world. I was a premature baby and you had to undergo a lot of trouble because of my urgency to meet the world.

I know, even after that would have been a trouble to you in my growing years, as I have often heard and still hear my aunts and uncles compare me with every new kid on the block with how naughty and how active I was in my toddling years.

Oh! You might have thought when I grew up to be a nice little kid who became extremely quiet and reserved when I started my schooling and college. You thought my daughter is not going to give me any more trouble.

How untrue it became - I fell in love and you had the trouble of telling me it wasn't right and I stood by my decision and you said, "Ok, child have your love life - I will get you married in a great pomp way so that no one tells you had a marriage out of the home"

I never knew so much of happiness till date and I owe you my lifetime to you for that one single act of yours.

The time I was ill, you woke up and took care of me. When I failed you stood by and said, "Never mind next time.' The deeds that you did without me asking for and the thoughts that you shared with me being an epitome of energy and strength that I always lean on and hold you for.

You are the strongest thing on this life that I shall hold dear for till there is breath under these nostrils of mine.

May you live your rest of your life and pass this life with utmost care and awareness.

2. My husband (Mr. Kumaresan)

You are the lifeline that keeps me ticking and counting the hours of a day. You have been close to me and you are like a ‘Confession Box’ for me.

You are more than a friend and a guide. Sometimes, I wonder why I keep telling you things that you don’t even bother to listen to and put me quite. But, when I calm and listen to my mind I know you were right.

You are the strength that I drive from within to live my live and carry on each day as a new experience and add it to my life.

You taught me a lot of things that I never knew existed in me and showed me what I am capable of. You have given me the utmost freedom that I can use it to even mould you.

I extend my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to you for making me come alive in this life and make the utmost of the situations I am driven in to.

You showed me what love can do and does.

3. My Tamil Film Music (Mr. Illayaraja)

I don’t understand what a raga is or the tune is…or differentiates one instrument sound from another but I can feel them and know the difference.

I don’t know how…I feel music and just love the way it transforms you from within. Be it a romantic song, be it a pathos song, be it a happy song, be it a family song, be it a joyful song, be it a solo song, whatever the genre I know this song does touch your heart and makes you feel sway to the music.

I extend my wishful and over whelming appreciations for this man who made everything else seem smaller and unknown but enjoyable. This small Music Director, Mr. Illayaraja who haven’t done much to reclaim his efficiency and add value to his name, but lives in the 5000 and odd songs he has composed and makes music a everyday event so effortlessly to all of the South Indian folks.

His music has been close to me since the days of my school and that is when he actually was in peak days of his career and I got to listen to him day-in and day –out without fail wherever I went.

If the air in the surrounding brings in the sounds of his music and his singers, I can find the song and narrow it down to the movie name and the actors – I feel happy of achieving the utmost things in life.

I find great pleasure in knowing his most unknown songs that have fade with time and want of proper marketing and sales. I have a huge collection of all his songs and I happy to be a part of his era, where I can listen to him more and for every situation in my life I can find a song from his Juke box.

4. Sadguru & Isha

Well, I have been always fascinated by the Science of Spiritualism and the persons behind this.

I haven’t been involved with any kind of spirituality or such activities as Meditation, Yoga and thinking beyond the one life we have right one.

But, being introduced to Isha and Sadguru, I am happy that I was able to be a part of it today and extend my heartfelt thanks and endearing gratitude for showing me the way to eternal happiness and peaceful living.

I knew how difficult this path is and never had imagined the hardships of this life of spirituality until I got involved with it.

I still wonder what these words really mean…Bliss, Utmost Happiness, An Experience Beyond Words, the Elixir of it…the extremeness of it but I certainly know it is difficult.

The people who live like sages and great men at the Himalayas certainly have given up the worldly pleasures to attain the Ultimate, but it certainly is not an easy job. There are more hardships involved in it than the struggles we see in a normal life.

I extend my happiness in being lead into a path that will show me the Ultimate and I am struggling to be the one among the clan.

This introduction itself has given me immense pleasure and happiness that the life at the other end is exciting but the hardships are stopping me from going further.

Call me further; let me have a taste of it!

5. Friends & People

Last but not the least, I would thank all of them whom I have been in contact and have come in contact for each one of have given me a insight and made me more wiser and more enhanced than what I was as a mere being.

I thank all of my friends and people whom I have met so far…you people have given a new meaning to the life and made it possible to make this journey of life so exciting and interesting.

There have been friends who have inspired, motivated, suggested, helped and given me great happiness in knowing me and helping me in my walks of life.

There have been people who have been silent but noticed and given me the power to carry on further with no hassle and make an endless effort for all the thoughts and things in my life.

I extend warm and dutiful thanks to one and all, for just being there and making life an experience to cherish and live it fully.

Thanks to one and all…I cannot incorporate each one of you in life but you will have a unique place in this life of mine coz the day and time we met is as everlasting as you all are…!

I hope you people loved reading the five important thanks giving that I gave right now as much as I had in writing it here.